Dave

"When you love the sounds of London jazz but don't possess the lifestyle of London club culture, it creates an identity mismatch. You like the dish, but you feel like you aren't allowed in the restaurant." I was trying to put my finger on it. That's the vibe when I tune into 6Music on saturdays.

Of all the output on 6Music it's definitely the case that those saturday afternoon shows are the most London-centred of them all. They couldn't happen anywhere else in the world. Like that's where that scene nearly entirely exists. So I just feel othered and gatekept from it, unintentionally.

"When you love the sounds of London jazz but don't possess the lifestyle of London club culture, it creates an identity mismatch. You like the dish, but you feel like you aren't allowed in the restaurant." I was trying to put my finger on it. That's the vibe when I tune into 6Music on saturdays.

The music will be cool and enticing, but then they will be chatting and have these cultural touchpoints and local references that are over my head, and I get this sense of voyeurism and impostor syndrome, like this isn't for me or anyone not in London. Like it is beamed from parallel universe.

Somebody upgraded the S-YXG50 VSTi to an "S-YXG1000", with support for all of the waveroms and patches of MU modules up to the MU1000. You could think of it like an "MU1000-lite" as it's missing the other expanded features. Nonetheless, I love this! github.com/NightFright2...

This scene in Disney's Basil: The Great Mouse Detective, where Rattigan destroys Olivia's ballerina doll by squeezing it until its eyes pop out & head springs off. Nightmare fuel for 4yo me, and tbh even 40yo me is disgusted by it.

Pokémon Heart & Soul has a QoL feature for Raikou & Entei; they growl and their sprites dash across the map upon entering their spawn area. Even so, I save-scummed. It was hard enough catching them with save-scumming! I have no idea how we coped with them in the GameBoy Color games...

Here is some music I made. blitzlunar.bandcamp.com #BandcampFriday

I am watching Th3 Tr41t0rs oh god oh fuck no

Me: *takes walk without phone* My brain: god this feels so pointless and like a waste of time, I'm such a loner, I hope I don't look weird or suspicious, I'm so sad, so lonely and feel so alienated yet I can't bear other people. welp now I am hot and sweaty and need to shower and change

"Notice the sound of the birds, the fresh air on your skin and the colours, and physical sensations in your body" yes thank you I have four decades of noticing those things, I am quite familiar, I especially noticed them on acid and weed, was something good supposed to happen afterwards or. what now

Me: *takes walk without phone* My brain: god this feels so pointless and like a waste of time, I'm such a loner, I hope I don't look weird or suspicious, I'm so sad, so lonely and feel so alienated yet I can't bear other people. welp now I am hot and sweaty and need to shower and change

Remember this fungi season, do not collect fungi that make you hallucinate, that is bad and illegal! Instead, collect fungi that make you shit out your internal organs and then die, there is no legal problem with that whatsoever. 🌞

feeling a bit fucked off with health stuff. threshold hypertension and continuing crohn's. I feel pressured into lifestyle changes I don't feel able or willing to sustain, and no guarantee it helps anyway.

that ought to keep me going.