Hoctor

BREAKING: Sources at Amazon MGM have told Deadline that the next James Bond will be “whoever shows up to the audition first” because “who gives a shit.”

I think it's great to portray consent as it is - a complex conversation that appears in a million forms between a million combinations of people. Practicing boundaries between family members who love and respect you is exactly the training kids need to bring that lesson out into the wider world.

it's called speaking like yoda heard of it you maybe have

not yet, funk soul brother

Ever since I watched the movie Jaws, I’ve been terrified of swimming in the ocean with a canister of compressed air in my mouth.

Octopus is the easiest thing to cut out of your diet on moral grounds because it’s basically never around, probably has dreams and emotions and tastes like a tire.

I can tell if someone is judgemental just by looking at them

it's called a thesaurus maybe you've perceived of it

This is worth reading every time it pops up <3

starbucks barista: order for cathy lou cthulhu: (visibly incensed) i guess that's me

a masterclass in alt text

This is the funniest thing I've seen today, possibly ever

Pulling out a pack of flutes taking one out and playing an autumn morning’s melody then stomping the flute out on the ground.

[dog world] DRIVE THRU: may I take your order DOG: *snickering* got any uphuman

ME: your mom sent you a letter LOU: read it to me ME: “To my Lou…” LOU: skip that part

1. Tonight at Gillette Stadium, Zach Bryan, one of the biggest country music artists in the world, wore a Free Palestine shirt onstage. Gillette Stadium is owned by Robert Kraft, who pushed Ed Sheeran and his promoter to drop Macklemore from his tour. Bryan isn’t just a major country artist.

Most TV is just this now.

every squad has the oblivious homie. except mine i guess

Eva, it's behind you.

MICK JAGGER: can i gather you ELISABETH MOSS: no

⠀

“In dreams and future memories” Exploring more semi representational& organic form in my work. The process of being part of the world but not “of the world” is a dichotomy that most people experience. A half remembered dream, cultural myths, a memory. #visualartist #creativity

It’s illustrative that most of the leftist south is concerned with the Irish football team, while the north sits on a precipice. Can chew gum & clap at the same time and all that, indifference is also grand, but just don’t be cosplaying parts of the conflict here when it comes to election time 👍

Went to my local Restaurant last night. The owner asked me, "do you mind waiting for a bit?" I said, "not at all." He said, "good, then take this to table 7."

ME: “wells fargo” sounds like yoda explaining how deep some wells are BANK MANAGER: look are you going to open an account or what ME: no i just came in to say that

[job interview] interviewer: so god killed all your kids? job: that's right

ME: do you like Earth Wind and Fire A FISH: i literally have no idea what any of those things are

I will be exhibiting in @hoctorsmyth offices from Friday 25th-28th of October from 1pm daily. Opening on Friday night from 6.30. Big thank you to @offalyartsoffice and Hoctor Smyth for their support! All details are in the flyer above, I hope to see you there!

bringing dead batteries back to life is revolting

skipped a pretty key step in the movie review process here

Today’s poem is called ‘Poem, Revised Draft’.

People actually did this sort of stuff in real life, before the advent of AI. youtu.be/lo6x4eulY9g?...

Me: what’s your favorite letter Fonzie: A Apiarist: B Sailor: C Nympho: D Dolphin: E Mean Teacher: F Gangsta: G Junkie: H Optometrist: I Silent Bob: J White Girl: K Legal Blonde: L 007: M Pessimist: N Understander: O Urologist: P Line Waiter: Q Pirate: R Snake: S Golfer: T No one: U

Best. Email sign-off. Ever.

REACHER: I need help with my iPhone SUPPORT: regular iPhone or duo? REACHER: how can I tell SUPPORT: if it folds it’s the duo *extremely loud crunching noise* REACHER: it’s the duo

New With Sails Ahead song is out today called "Another Glance". "Another Glance" is a reflection on the last 10 years that our band has been playing music together 💕 Lots of lyrical easter eggs for longtime listeners Stream: withsailsahead.ffm.to/anotherglance Music video: youtu.be/o-seX4G5UKM

ME: time to sleep BRAIN: "four" is the only number with the right amount of letters

Oh we're halfway there Oh oh running from a bear I pushed you down Accidentally I swear Oh oh eaten by a bear You were eaten by a bear