Ginger 🫚🏳️‍⚧️🥀 Hawthorne

Today was my third session with my new therapist, and I made her cry by telling her about my childhood. Do I get a prize? 🤣

This is generally a great reminder, especially when I’m feeling like I’ll never like who I see in the mirror. But then I imagine seeing my mom’s face in the mirror a I think I realize why it’s so hard for me to proceed with my transition. That’s a terrifying prospect.

Some days I can juggle a thousand thoughts at once, stacking sever layers deep in a meaty problem that I’ve never been able to solve before. And other days, I’m like “thank god they labeled the button.”

Bluesky has six kinds of users

It’s always been Rogue. She’s strong, beautiful, she can fly, all the escapist wish fulfillment my little egg could want. It didn’t hurt that she has a perfect excuse to make everybody stay the fuck away from her. I craved that level of solitude, and I still enjoy it today.

Panic attacks are especially fun when I can’t put my finger on what I’m panicking about. And then the idea of untriggered panic attacks causes its own panic attack. But at least I know where that one came from, which is finally helping me come down a bit. Y’know, just your average Monday.

Throwback to that time I used Pokémon Legends ZA’s character customizer to make a femme Luigi

Y'know, at the beginning of this election season, I was willing to let a lot more slide. But the constant anti-trans ads from both sides are really beating me down. I'm a different person than I was. Truly. Watch out for your trans friends, please. We're not at our best right now.

Watching Adventures in Babysitting (1987) and remembering how hard I latched onto Elisabeth Shue (and Lea Thompson) for reasons that would remain unknown for nearly 35 years 😂

This post is turning out to be a super useful way to block AI bros who can’t be bothered to read an entire thread

Trans people are a materially real category of person whether you like it or not, and no amount of navel-gazing word games will change the fact that the punishment society levels at those who declare their belonging to that category is blatantly unjust.

No more mint! Doc told me I can stop taking spiro today! 🎉

After 40 years of masking in multiple ways and 5 years of peeling back those masks, I sometimes wonder who I am anymore, and what it even means to be “me”. And then I come across a tab on my phone called “ascii boobs” and I remember exactly who I am. 🥰

How long ‘til I get a formal reprimand from the moderators? 🙄

I remember my Yamaha PSR-320 from the mid-to-late 90s, which came with a “bonus” cartridge with, among others, Ace of Base’s “All That She Wants”. Good times.

Hold onto your hats folks, our 11-year-old has asked to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

Be the blasphemy you wish to see in the world

Not the point of the original thread, but I often use the word “incongruous”. And now that I’ve seen this, I think I’ve been setting my sights too low. “Abomination of contrast” sounds like something to aspire to.

“Bigger than her head” but talking about my calves

I got to see my favorite paleontologist today! It’s a very good day

Happy National Fossil Day!

I did my gender clinic intake 5 days ago, and one thing I learned was: If I have til January to figure out if I need bottom surgery, literally everyone in my life suddenly has zero opinions on my transition. My partner, other T-girls in my sphere locally, no one has any thoughts on the pros/cons.

Of course I know that all of this is highly parasocial, and that I don’t know any of y’all as well as I sometimes think I do, and you know even less about me. But when the dysphoria hits hard, hanging out here feels downright voyeuristic. It makes me deeply uncomfortable to be here.

Another thread this morning got me thinking… if you don’t already know the story behind my username (and please don’t look it up for the sake of this), what would you think that story is, or what do you think it means? Alternately, what impression does it give you?

I’ve been up since 5am thinking too much, so I’m gonna solicit ideas. What are some cheap, easy, not-completely-unhealthy things I can do to distract myself from the things that I want but can’t have?

Actually, talking about my pre-transition life feels like coming out as well, because it always comes attached to my deadname. I do talk about it fairly openly, especially since a lot of it is relevant to my career history, but it does have a different feel about it.

Y’know, sometimes I worry I’m not interesting enough or exciting enough or whatever. And then I remember the thrill that went through me when my wife said she wanted to spend part of her birthday getting library cards. I don’t “exciting” is something I need to aspire to. 😂

I’ve gotten to the point where I’m gonna pay somebody else to go through the rest of the shit in this house. I’ve been going back and forth every weekend for months and there’s still so much left to do. I just need to be rid of this house.