Renée Renegade Angel

I've done some writing today, it's more typing up my original notes tbh, but it's editing and writing new entries, too. I'm working on a list of locations, with a brief description of each, and then the same for each character, so I can make my own essentially wiki(?) for reference.

finished him yesterday, cbf to do more or even paint him particularly well, the model pißed me off and I don't even know why because he's my favourite, but enough. had enough. done. Next!

i just want to sleep and I don't want to have to take pills or booze or opioids to do it, but after week of fucked sleep thanks to being without weed, a clocks change and a meds reduction combined, idk I'm hoping tomorrow my fortunes reverse with a few z's either way

I ran a very good game today, and the writing sorted itself out- they have encountered my mastermind, and the monster, but they don't know who he is, or what, and the monster went to attack, but did not give chase. they did hear it speak (THE YOUNG MASTER MUST REMEMBER HIS P'S AND Q'S)

they have a habit of loudly announcing the prescence of terrifying cyborg killing machines being on the loose and then being surprised it causes mass panic, stampedes, lower house prices etc and increases the overall danger rating

I ran a very good game today, and the writing sorted itself out- they have encountered my mastermind, and the monster, but they don't know who he is, or what, and the monster went to attack, but did not give chase. they did hear it speak (THE YOUNG MASTER MUST REMEMBER HIS P'S AND Q'S)

i am awake and i want to write! did a family meal yesterday, ate food, didn't lose my shit, was part of things, and had a nice evening. did a bit more painting on my marine captain beforehand- hows about that. woke up and its the fucking clocks innit. fuck. 4.30am is really 5.30am? this is bullshit

two hours writing. 800 words of notes for a chapter, a tiny bit of dialogue written, but mostly just storyboarding and recording general gist of conversations. a choice of two cliffhangers- undecided. Chapter 6 could have my mastermind show his face, or that could be chapter 7/8. breakfast time

i am awake and i want to write! did a family meal yesterday, ate food, didn't lose my shit, was part of things, and had a nice evening. did a bit more painting on my marine captain beforehand- hows about that. woke up and its the fucking clocks innit. fuck. 4.30am is really 5.30am? this is bullshit

I talked about a lot of stuff with my dad, but mostly I expressed my big negative emotions and thoughts with much less filter, re-opening all the wounds, and what my experience is actually like. I talked about my issues with him and how he used to be, and it was helpful? he's still there

I had a meltdown last night after getting home from the effort of it, being scared that it will change things, my body pulling at itself from the inside. First one since August 1st, and I was able to reign it in after 30 mins or so, with no weed, and even sleep 5 hours!

I talked about a lot of stuff with my dad, but mostly I expressed my big negative emotions and thoughts with much less filter, re-opening all the wounds, and what my experience is actually like. I talked about my issues with him and how he used to be, and it was helpful? he's still there

my dad was out so I didn't get to ambush him and hit him with a shoe, or even to talk to him about wanting to hit him with a shoe. that son of a bitch lucked out this week, but there comes a time in every fathers life where he needs a taste of his own size elevens

I eat through my dried and tinned stockpile each month because I'm broke for at least a week and a half of it. fucking stupid. can't I catch, smoke and store Streeting? he looks like a juicy ham boy already. I found a malt loaf hidden in a yu-gi- oh card tin last week (still in date). step up

I have tales of house clearances of dead relatives in the 70s and finding of solid bricks of sugar and other spoiled dry or canned food stored since the war squirreled away in cupboards, because the fear never went away. Streeting needs to be careful.

I painted a guy's base colours on his cloak today. i couldve painted fully three of him if i was on good form. every cup of tea has gone cold. I want to call my dad. I want someone to hold my hand and sit with me, but I don't want anyone in my house, and I dont want to leave my house

i sit down to paint. i stare. an hour and a half goes by. i completed my week's quota yesterday. the project is on track, anything done from now til Monday is 'running ahead'. i want to run ahead with it, i'm hungry for the next thing already. I know i can take a break too. i love the project