Jason Geffner

At the airport lounge right now and the guy next to me got a plate of scrambled eggs and ketchup. As if that’s already bad enough, it’s a ratio of 2:1 ketchup to eggs 🤢

Just popped up in my news feed. I can’t imagine spending money on an ad that shows my bakery’s curdled filling 🤢

@pftompkins.bsky.social, we all know that Burnt Millipede would never have gotten this puzzle wrong.

Highlight of my day: realizing I no longer need to wait for Beli to add dark mode — I can just do Smart-Invert in iOS’s settings!

when your friend tries to tell you how to be a smooth operator: “take it from your pal sade…”

This is the funniest thing I've seen today, possibly ever

@blowdart.me, it’s not too late to book your flight. www.sfgate.com/food/article...

Ah yes, my favorite Sega Genesis game: ARCADE GAME 🙄

I’m telling everyone that this is GTA VI.

[Discussing recurring student absences from school] My wife: Nobody has doctor’s appointments everyday. Me: Doctors do.

If you’re buying food whose label uses this font, you shouldn’t be surprised when you find out it contains listeria.

I'm sorry but Claude did what?? Let's just drop this as a chill lil blog post on the Friday before a long weekend.

Got fired from Starbucks for making a dirty chai with olive brine.

Me watching Groundhog Day at 14: laughing my butt off 😆 Me watching Groundhog Day at 44: crying my eyes out 😭

No one expectorants the Spanish influenza.

Instead of transferring power from the wheels that slip to the wheels that grip, why not just make a car with four wheels that grip?

Me, trying to access BIOS...

wow this guy is really excited about dinnerware

Coming soon: THE SLOP

Was at a Bat Mitzvah tonight and learned that they now make chairs specifically for the Hora dance, with grab bars and all. We’re living in the future. (Photo from the web, not from tonight.)

AL DENTE would be a great name for an orthodontist.

If you’re pairing wine with your sunny side up eggs, you might have a drinking problem.

"Begun, the Clolone Wawars have."

These platforms are individually sealed.

Doctor: What seems to be the problem? Golfer: I think my skull sunk down to my throat again.

It all began with the forging of the Mother Sauces. Five were gifted to the race of Men. But they were all of them deceived, for another sauce was made — pesto.

Someone must have installed this tool on the NASA shuttle: community.spiceworks.com/t/open-two-s... Hopefully they find the author and throw him in prison for life!

TIL that the word “quine“ is _not_ in the Scrabble dictionary 😡 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quine_(...

CSS is DOOMed! I've build DOOM in CSS and every wall, floor, barrel, and imp is a div, positioned in 3D space using CSS transforms. cssdoom.wtf Try it out! But... not every browser can handle it. This is taking the browser to its limit. Chrome has some issues. Safari too. Bugs will be filed.

Procrastination? Don’t get me started.

You telling me an easy herb laminated this pasta dough?

Clippy caught me!

@colinmochrie.bsky.social, amazing Hyprov show tonight in Kirkland!! I was in tears laughing! And thanks for accepting my daughter’s “ladder” suggestion!

Maybe don’t advertise where the water is coming from… (zoom in on the LCD screen)

I need this made into a t-shirt for myself.

i built an entire x86 CPU emulator in CSS (no javascript) you can write programs in C, compile them to x86 machine code with GCC, and run them inside CSS lyra.horse/x86css/

Watch out, nerds, there’s a new sheriff in town!

(sea monster bio) You've probably seen my writhing in The Atlantic

Old: "Is Pepsi okay?" New: "Is Hep-C okay?" nypost.com/2017/08/15/m...

CEO of Redfin

"Congratulations …. your days of whining are over." www.jsnover.com/blog/2026/02...

60 minutes now seriously evoking 28 Days Later energy

> Furthermore, it switched the power off and on! In related news, everyone’s home router is now working properly.

Went to the theater today to see Marty Supreme. For those of you wondering, it’s like a regular Marty but with sour cream and tomatoes.

Everything in the news is terrible, but I introduced my daughter tonight to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and she loved it, so at least there’s that ❤️

One of the restaurants near my office is named Leaf+Land. I always order the fish just to be a contrarian.

Today is Boxing Day. Jake Paul: “oh fuck…”