Optional Allusion

My mail-in ballot requires my signature to match whatever's on file. That's terrible! I don't write manually enough to have a real consistent signature. Why not use something nice and intuitive like a public/private keypair cryptographic signature?

I fuckin' love pressing that little "mute account" button.

You can't logic your way out of being burnt out. Unless you're me. Who should be able to do it and it's a personal failing that I can't

Gmail, how fucking difficult is it to just throw anything that arrives in sPoNgEbOb case straight into spam? Just fucking do it. Do it twice as hard if it mentions insurance.

I once worked for a company with a significant amount of PHP. I refused to touch it without hazard pay.

Nobody ever comes by my house on halloween, so if someone does I'm just gonna give them a whole thing of candybeans.

I don't even watch Youtube, but it turns out I will pay approximately $8/mo to not hear Liberty Biberty from across the house as my kid does.

When I am god-emperor, serving mayonnaise or mayonnaise-based sauces without prominent disclosure will be a capital offense.

remember the coworker who annoyed you a decade ago by pushing back on “move fast and break things,” “perfect is the enemy of the good,” and “just ship it”? in the age of slop, they’re your most valuable hire. treat them accordingly.

My cat loves to: 1. eat breakfast 2. throw up breakfast 3. sit on the back of my chair and tap me on the shoulder like "Hey man, I'm kinda hungry here, got any snacks?"

App idea: Useless Directions Directs you based on landmarks that no longer exist and inaccurate personal info. "Left where Mervyn's used to be, then right at that park Bobby had his 6th birthday at. Turn on the street that that girl you liked in 8th grade lived on. What was her name? Heather?"

Trying out different mapping apps this morning, I accidentally left two set to navigate to different places, then took my kid to school. The conflicting verbal directions simulate driving your parents around pretty well!

I've realized that my position is essentially "Never use AI to produce things you actually care about", which is 100% compatible with "Get a job with a company doing something you don't care about". Mind, I do not think this is good for the industry OR me.

Had a dream I flubbed a Google interview question about probabilities. Then, still dreaming, I realized it was a perfect opportunity to use Bayes' theorem. Why can't I just have sex dreams?

My kid is so jealous that the cat listens to me and does what I ask. He hasn't realized that I'm just reading the cat's behavior and narrating what he's about to do.

As a software developer, looking at code AI produces makes me feel like Ron Swanson looking at particleboard furniture.

Is "www" pronounced "6u" or "8u"?

Had weird dreams about bad neighbors, clogged toilets, and finding the wrong number of cats. They may all have been related.

It is once again Octember Twoth, and I must implore you all to ...I'm sorry, I don't know where I'm going with this.

I can't find it online, but I have been thinking about a clip from The Soup in the early 2010s where Joel McHale mocks a woman for treating the Google search box as a person. "Dear Google, how are you?..." with exaggerated typing motions. That's how this shit works now.

How confident am I? I'm eating Indian food in a white shirt.

My cat just caught and ate an entire mouse, then went back to see if he could find any more.

So... is that Old Glory Robot Insurance still available?

Not to beat the Chick Bongo drums too hard, but fuck AI video interviews with a sideways drill bit.

I don't rinse my dishes because I think the dishwasher can't handle it. I rinse my dishes becaue they're going to sit there in my sink for a whole day while I work up the effort to unload the previous load.

Please respect Juantonio's transition, and do not deadname his chips.

Sometimes when I turn on my Breville Barista Touch™, it just makes a long angry beep and turns itself off again. I feel you! That's why I need coffee!

It's like my great-great-grandfather always says: "Please, complete the ritual. Let me die!"

That was 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬 with "𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑃ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑐𝑖𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝐻𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦". Coming up, 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐞 𝐀𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐩 with "𝑒𝑚𝑑𝑎𝑠ℎ". You're listening to KGEN, but I don't know why.

Not a fan of how entitled bees are to get right in my face to determine whether I am a flower or not.

using AI trained on stolen work to make a shoddy copy of that work on the cheap AKA the six-finger discount

Wouldn't it be neat in a Philip K Dick sort of way if LLMs achieve enlightenment specifically because they have no sense of self?

Just muted an account for a misspelling. I am drunk with power. And also alcohol.

Google just sent me email inviting me to "Instantly customize your Pixel with Harry Potter Audiobook Packs to celebrate the release of Harry Potter: The Full-Cast Audio Editions on Audible." Fuck you, Google. I will never listen to an audiobook.

Perhaps the reason "alignment"seems so elusive is that the people and companies responsible for ensuring it are not themselves aligned with humanity's best interests.

Wife is 3d printing beads for craft projects, and every single time:

I think it's ironic that the only sources for the actual words in the "illiterate boyfriend" quiz are videos.

God bless Trader Joe and his $17 Irish Whiskey.

I sure as fuck hope that after the GOP is soundly defeated in basically all upcoming elections that the mood will generally improve and I may find it in me to be productive again. But honestly, I forecast things getting even stupider and more violent when they refuse to admit their losses.

Yeah, what he said.