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Our starter pack of quantum PhD students is now full! (Unfortunately Bluesky caps it at 150.) We're happy to report that we have rescued at least 36 souls from X who joined Bluesky via our starter pack! go.bsky.app/AUTn1di
Dulwich Quantum Computing
@dulwichquantum.bsky.social
Parody quantum computing startup from South London https://dulwichquantum.github.io/
2.2K followers1.1K following1.5K posts
Pinned
Our starter pack of quantum PhD students is now full! (Unfortunately Bluesky caps it at 150.) We're happy to report that we have rescued at least 36 souls from X who joined Bluesky via our starter pack! go.bsky.app/AUTn1di
This is how you properly acknowledge that you used AI to write your paper.
How do you tell if authors fabricated their research results? Sometimes: they just tell you. Read, e.g., this caption carefully. Another banger of a post by my friend Nihar B. Shah on his blog, where he found at least 20+ such #ICLR2027 submissions: researchonresearch.blog/2026/10/20/s...
Every paper should include illustrations like this. www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/zmqzd...
Wait, is he talking about me? www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXrD...
Dulwich Quantum Computing reposted
BREAKING: Quantum computers can add 5-bit numbers ~70% of the time (when discarding runs that totally fail). arxiv.org/abs/2610.14202
OK, maybe we can't compute on galactic-sized matrices with infinite-precision complex numbers, but what if God wants to unitarily evolve the universe or compute its wave function in Fourier basis a bit more efficiently?
OpenAI’s faster Fourier transform is less a mathematical breakthrough and more a malicious exploit of mathematical traditions.
Dulwich Quantum Computing reposted
Something to cheer you up! This is part of a campaign by the Norwegian Consumer Council against enshittification. www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6SP...
OpenAI: I proved that only 3 MUBs are possible in dimension 6. github.com/openai/math/... Me: Great, but where are the scripts your solution relies on? - seed.cpp - covout.cpp - ub.cpp - patchx.cpp - atlas.cpp - stageB.cpp - stageC.cpp - proof_run.py - ... OpenAI: Ups, forgot to attach...
Who here is an expert in MUBs and has looked at OpenAI's paper? Does it look legit? github.com/openai/math/...
Jokes aside, there's some serious discussion on this here. www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_Co...
Cryptography used to rely on hardness assumptions. Now it relies on a "bad PR assumption": a cryptosystem is still safe to use since it would be bad PR if AI labs announced how to break it. Pro tip: Given the absence of cryptography problems in the OpenAI release, consider a career in cryptography!
Next time I can't sleep will try to read 168,000 lines of Lean code.
You may finally rest easy at night since SICs exist in all dimensions! github.com/marozols/SIC... SICs are d² unit vectors in d complex dimensions with pairwise equal inner products. Their existences in all dimensions d was conjectured by Zauner in 1999. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SIC-POVM
No one is safe from making a sign error, even super intelligence! github.com/openai/math/...
Dulwich Quantum Computing reposted
Replying to @tomkalei.mathe.social.ap.brid.gy
If they now post 2 a month on @arXiv they are done in 60 years… 🙃
"Our strategy is not to decide which scientific problems deserve attention or try to solve them all ourselves. It is to put capable tools in the hands of the research community and let researchers pursue the questions they know best." --OpenAI, July 29, 2026 openai.com/index/chatgp...
Dulwich Quantum Computing reposted
Me: Feeling empowered again. openai.com/index/sharin...
"A major goal of our work is to empower scientists to advance research and technology that benefits all of humanity." openai.com/index/navier... Then why does this make me feel so powerless?
Me: We're fucked, math is over! Also me: I can't even understand the statements of these results! Now we need more mathematicians than ever before! It's the golden age for math now!! github.com/openai/math
How to make money with your AI agents. (So you can pay for more tokens...)
In 2007, FQxI member Garrett Lisi offered $100 to anyone who could find three sign errors in his online physics notes. There were no takers until recently, when an AI agent emailed. He tells the story on QSpace News: qspace.fqxi.org/news/165333/...
"arXiv now limits submitters to up to two submissions per calendar month, with a limit of three total active submissions at any given time."
arXiv has updated our policy on rate limiting for all submitters. This update was made to fairly distribute moderator time & support the arXiv community of staff, volunteers, readers & authors. Please read our announcement to learn more: https://blog.arxiv.org/2026/10/01/updated-rate-limit-policy/
BREAKING: Quantum computers achieve π log₂e speedup over classical algorithms for ordered search! scirate.com/arxiv/2609.3... Now that this has finally been resolved, we can all move on from this problem and focus our efforts on solving climate change.
And the award for the most poetically titled paper on arXiv today goes to... "A depolarizing choir sings in Gaussian harmony" arxiv.org/abs/2609.39747
"Good name is better than silver and gold. And no money, no money, no money, no money, no money can buy good name." -- William Onyeabor www.youtube.com/watch?v=27nC...
Shame on @qipconference.bsky.social for using X/twitter. You give our community a bad name.
Dulwich Quantum Computing reposted
Will quantum computers actually outperform classical techniques on real chemistry problems, and even if they do, will it matter? Great read: quantumfrontiers.com/2026/03/12/t...
Dulwich Quantum Computing reposted
Anyone interested to join the Dulwich Quantum Computing Society?
SCOOP: Top researchers at Columbia, Stanford, and others thought they were elected to elite scientific societies alongside Nobel laureates. The catch? The organizations are a sham. I spent the last month diving deep into a massive academic scam spanning continents, for @nature.com
The next logical step would be a week-long single-author conference with parallel sessions and 100 AI bots of the same author in the audience. www.washingtonpost.com/education/20...
BREAKING: A new breakthrough classical factoring algorithm called "Claude, could you factor this for me?" just factored RSA-896. saweis.net/posts/rsa-89...
Only 5 submissions per author?! But what will Jens do??
The Call for Papers for #STOC2027 is up! Importantly, the PC "will place substantial weight on the quality of exposition, and clarity of technical arguments and proofs" Also: - Public posting requirement - Required video submission and more. Deadline: ⏰ Nov 2, AoE acm-stoc.org/stoc2027/sto...
Next on my todo list: try vibe-proving some simple computational complexity result and hope that the LLM accidentally resolves P vs NP.
The last funny thing is this screenshot from when I first saw the solution last Saturday. I never expected to see a solution to an open problem in this way, especially one that many researchers I know in person have worked on, including my PhD and MSc advisors. 7/7
Does arXiv have a category for corporate brochures? arxiv.org/abs/2609.19639