drkelpzero.bsky.social

If anyone would like to see a short video of a dog using their tail as a rotar blade, this is your lucky day.

Mephisto, by Joaquín Espalter y Rull, 1872, 📸 by Dan Mullan

new hand dropped. they’re calling it the most ever

haven’t seen America this thoroughly embarrassed on the world stage since we lost that war we started with Iran like 3 weeks ago

i have no butt and i must fart

This is good slate.com/culture/2025...

happy for Khalil of course but i must say, "lawful permanent resident not charged with any crimes, imprisoned by president's stormtroopers for having forbidden opinions about US-abetted genocide, briefly allowed to touch his child" is a hell of a thing to find oneself feeling joy and relief about

got a korok infestation and now my apartment is full of puzzles. not even good ones, just dreck like a rock next to the toilet. they look at me when i solve them and i have to act like i had fun because my smart fridge is a mandatory reporter.

wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey? guard: [looking away] fine wife: did something happen? guard: [tearing up] no wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?

dont worry about toys worry about the draft

I cannot repeat often enough or emphatically enough that we live in the dumbest conceivable timeline.

Just learned today that 92% of US import consumption is dolls for beautiful little girls. Higher than I would have expected!

guy who thinks the Protect The Dolls shirts are about tariffs

I love finding scientist logs in horror games, it's always something like "Day 1: I have attached 17 knives to Jeff, he is responding well to the knife surgery" "Day 2: Knives Jeff has escaped, 7 are dead"

Me pronouncing pineapples like Minneapolis will probably come up in divorce court

Wow, what a horrific typo. Right on the cover.

Why on earth would a protest movement against the worst president in US history begin by acknowledging that he's not so bad www.nytimes.com/2025/05/01/o...

this is what is called running a tight ship good work folks

theonion.com/historians-q...

im sorry to be so divisive and partisan but i dont think the government should be inventing a criminal history out of thin air to justify sending someone to a concentration camp in a foreign country

A much-needed moment of calm 🐺

Getting through a lot of stress by just repeating "lol. lmao" like a mantra in my head.

A reminder that if the government can send migrants to a prison camp without any due process, it can send U.S. citizens there, too. I know because this happened to me and my family in 1942.

Opinion | I like fascism. I also like my 401(k). I have never felt more politically homeless.

when an older Paul Rudd nears the end of its lifecycle, it is consumed by flame and from the ashes emerge an egg that hatches the newborn Paul Rudd

my “we are currently clean on OPSEC” shirt has people asking a lot of questions that are answered by my shirt

[hegseth] Just CONFIRMED w/CENTCOM we are a GO for mission launch. [friend who once got a text from hegseth where he accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?