booté

offering the vampire brothers my vape (Garlic in it)

if I made you mute "vampire brothers" by now then you're welcome. I've spared you a most terrible fate you couldn't even comprehend

the vampire brothers do I even need to say it

sorry I'm late boss. Vampire brothers

proof of something

Dillweed Legends™

A Quiet Place is a great horror premise for people who can't shut the fuck up

one day my posts are gonna be seen by a talent scout from the big city. I just know it

the vampire brothers are having a suck off

screenshotting my posts and dming them to everyone that won't follow back

it's really easy to not make broad sweeping generalizations about sexuality. You literally don't have to do anything

the vampire brothers have taken a full step behind the taco bell counter

Moore's Lol

bro your pet guinea pig goes dummy hard

when a child shows you their soapbox derby car they worked hard on, you have to act cold and indifferent or they'll never shut up about it. Even if it's the coolest thing you've ever seen

me when I hear a catchy pop melody over a simple yet unique chord progression

incorrectly using a word until someone corrects me with that Princess Bride quote "I do not think it means what you think it means" which activates my soul jar, trapping their essence inside

bro pobody's nerfect 😂 remember?

come, Squire. React to mine post

hey bros who's turn is it to be problematic tonight

they've been offering me contracts to switch to threads and I've turned down every single one bc I don't know any better

calling my boss over to my desk by putting on my headphones and playing my favorite song

searching "jokes" on here one more time

ok I thought of a good one

pellets for him

a large smiling notification appeared to me in a dream

PAINTINGS FOR SALE! these two are both acrylic on canvas board, 8.5"x11" $200 each, or $350 for the diptych. shipping included within Canada DM if you're interested, I'm flexible on pricing and happy to also just say hello

your "Non-Sequitur" left me wanting

60s pop being the defining musical sound of Halloween is so fitting, that's exactly what plays in my head when I think of monsters

computer, kooky and kreepy bull shit near me

hear hear bro

playing the song you posted for the vampire brothers

told homie to season the steaks liberally and he got so mad he kissed me on the mouth

Get Dinnerfied®

scraping all the brown bits in the pan into the garbage