David Marantz

I asked for the shroom pizza. After eating 3 slices, I don’t feel a thing! Those shrooms were bullshit! And not the good kind of shrooms that grow on bullshit. Total scam! I’m going to make sure the entire EU knows about this!!

Wapo: National Hispanic Heritage Month is a moment to reflect on the history, experiences and cultures of Hispanic and Latino communities in the United States. I would argue that it’s more than a moment. By its own titular claim, it’s a month.

Audiobook narration quote of the day: "Television was dismissed as a threat to democracy, as critics worried that entertainment-focused programming would create a politically ignorant society." The critics were right. It certainly has. #audiobooks #narration #narrators

Justice Roberts lets Bsllroom construction continue. So tell me again why lawsuits, laws, lower court rulings, the Constituion, or really anything matters anymore? “We’ve finally stopped him this time!” Said Charlie Brown as he ran full-speed, ready to finally kick that football.

Are we ready for the new Up With Spreadsheet People? youtu.be/mQ2vwuGhnlA?...

I’m so old, when I see the word Lotus, if it’s not the flower, it’s the car. Didn’t know they made a 123.

Sometimes you're on a long 0-fer. Athletes just stay confident and 'trust the process'. But when they go on a long hitless streak, they still get paid. I need some hits, and soon.

Malibu Mengele (I mean, I know he grew up in SaMo, but c'mon! It's right there!)

In August 2011 I recorded first paid professional audiobook. It was Audible's #1 Zombie book of the year. Fifteen years later, I'm recording a book for @tantoraudio.bsky.social in the home studio. Thanks to all the publishers and authors! From outdoor Shakespeare to indoor #Audiobooks Full spectrum

Soooo…. The Ballroom is blocked by the Appeals Court, but they actually have never stopped construction. It’s well under way. So what? Do they tear it down? Let’s say it goes to Scotus and he loses. Then what? Is it finally over and they destroy it? Abandon it 1/2 built? Our system is broken

The Hatchback of Notre Dame

Hey New Yorkers Last weekend to see As You Like It in a Parking Lot courtesy of DrillingCompany Theater and Shakespeare in the Parking Lot. Norfolk and Rivington on the LES Thursday, Friday, Saturday 7/30-8/1 7pm. FREE FREE FREE

America’s got talent but is tired of the grind and is thinking of getting into teaching and private coaching - still fulfilling.

3am and dudes are still popping off fire works on the corner out my window. It’s pointless to try and sleep.

It's 4th of July weekend and sharks have been spotted near the beaches of NY and NJ. You can stay home and watch Jaws OR you can sit by the pool and listen to the audiobook "Silent Came The Monster", a novel based on the real shark attacks along the NJ shore in 1916! www.audible.com/pd/Silent-Ca...

Colbert guest hosted a public access TV show in Monroe, Michigan a day after the Late Show ended. Guest star: Jeff Daniels Special appearance by: Eminem Musical director: Jack White Genius. youtu.be/jJTXB5uT_C4?...

What a loooooooong slow trip it’s been! (on the uptown A train)

Well, if Southern Conservative Christians are right, based on their explanations of past disasters, it’s God’s Wrath against their evil ways. God hates the South.

Will guide you to the afterlife for food

Call me arrogant, but I’m listening to an #audiobook that I auditioned for but didn’t get. I still think I would have been better. Maybe it was sound of the voice more than performance that interested them. Or they prefer that performance style… it’s not what I do.

A sign of the times that my first thought was ‘can we have ICE sickles?’ The new anti-fascist weed wacker

As I take the last sip of my morning large cup of coffee, I already feel ready for a nap. WTF, coffee?! Do your job.

A given. 😀🥤

One Direction Flew Over The Cookoo’s Nest (yes, it’s also a play) American Buffalo Springfield Pink Floyd Collins Three Dog Day Afternoon, Night

Seems like a bigger tattoo than the traditional tramp stamp

This Shitshow is currently doing a 4 year residency. After year one, audiences agree - it’s a complete Shit Show. Audiences can expect more of the same, with no changes to the overall programming till the current run ends. Hopes that it will close early show no signs of materializing soon.

That feeling when you get the word back: No Corrections! #audiobooks #narration

Invoice! Invoice! Invoice! I sent it out today! And when it hits their inbox A month til I get paid...🫤 Hey, I'm not complaining. Happy just to be employed. The partial pre-payment helps, for sure 🫶

Seriously.

I guess. But who enforces the judge’s order when they don’t comply

Here it is! Yestereday's episode of Ask Us Anything, where I was the guest of Don Baarns and Johnny Heller. We had fun! Thanks, guys! We talked #audiobooks, Bob's Big Boy, Shakespeare in the Parking Lot, my Origin Story and more! An enjoyable hour of chat. www.youtube.com/live/t3bdzuD...

My body can not function on this constant level of cortisol.

Weren’t these the people whining about ‘weaponized government’?!? I guess they know what they’re talking about, proving themselves masters of the art.

This really is the limit of my faith in positive affirmations for the new year. But we’ll need the entire year to manifest it. May the year exceed my expectations

Make a Bond Film casual Live and Let Go

Wouldn’t have it any other way. Oh, wait - yes. Yes, I would.

I kinda think that the canvas tote as an enticement to donate is long past its moment. Your offer of a canvas tote will not be the straw that tips the scales in my donation decision making.

Bourbon, apple cider, maple syrup, ginger juice and a squeeze of lemon. That’s a good little cocktail! Cheers!

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Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers

Sign o’ the times: every time I see the word ‘gifting’, my mind reads ‘grifting’. This is our world now.