Warren Hyde

1 Zacharia = 1 Semimucci

NEW YORK, NY. – Sep. 22, 2026 – Donald Trump, from the floor of the U.N. General Assembly, announced his renaming of the burgeoning field of Artificial Intelligence (A.I.), which shall now be officially recognized as Super High Intelligence Technology (S.H.I.T.) by the U.S. and all member nations.

Don't buy the hype. It's a grift.

I'm pretty sure the person who designed the typography on the cover of JD Vance's latest book hates him, because that is some deliberately bad kerning.

I'd support a law to require all data centers to provide their own water and power, or they are the first to be cut off from municipal sources during rationing.

Trump needs to go. That's why he's never seen in public without wearing adult diapers.

At this point, I'd be happy with concepts of an aneurysm.

WASHINGTON D.C. – April 29, 2026 – John Fetterman (D, PA) introduced a bill to build a dome over the continental US with a single Swarovski chandelier in the center, directly above Lebanon, KS, turning the entire nation into a ballroom, at a cost of only 2.5 billion dollars, solving gun violence.

Will Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa.) introduce a bill allowing SNAP benefits to purchase a Costco membership?

The ONLY reason bullfighting is still a celebrated form of entertainment is because the matador does not always win.

Inf🧅WARS should become a parody prediction market betting which Onion articles will come true in the future.

"While any member of the US armed forces is engaged in any kind of combat operations worldwide, the entire Executive Branch of government shall eat nothing but MREs until hostilities cease, without exception."

If Florence + The Machine has car trouble, does she call Mike + the Mechanics?

In these times, even Disney+ seems to think the most concerning part of this film is that it "Contains tobacco depictions."

POTUS has PONTIFF envy, and it's not a good look, for him or for US.

BUDAPEST, HUNGARY – April 13, 2026 – U.S. President Donald J. Trump ordered Tulsi Gabbard to investigate the "obviously fraudulent" loss of "highly-favored" Viktor Orbán in yesterday's presidential election, seizing ballots and voting machines for forensic analysis.

DJT's sole takeaway from watching Ghostbusters was "When someone asks you if you're a god, say yes!"

"God Bless the Great People of Iran! I'll most likely kill you in the morning." —Dread POTUS Roberts

He is risen, indeed!

Todd "Carte" Blanche has said the quiet part out loud, proclaiming that the saga of the Trump/Epstein Files is now closed to history.

What's it all about, Bondi? Is it for the Epstein Files we live? What's it all about when you black it out, Bondi? Are we meant to hide more than we give Or is it time to get fired?

"It's not possible for us to take care of Daycare, Medicade, Medicare, all these individual things. They can do it on a state basis, you can't do it on a federal.... We have to take care of one thing: military protection." —DJT

nytimes.com/2026/03/29/u...

The "GOP" is now the party of Trump — the "TOP", if you will. And they have filled all of the critical government positions with "TOP MEN".

Anyone who claims it only takes power from above to achieve regime change is wrong. Even God had to put boots on the ground to save the world from itself.

WASHINGTON D.C. – March 13, 2026 – In a surprising move shortly after halting production of the penny, the Secretary of the Treasury has suspended production of the 25¢ piece as well. Pete Hegseth broke the news by letting slip there would be "no quarter" in Operation Epic Furry.

What's updog?

I recall the dumbest, most irresponsible kids in the neighborhood were the ones who somehow got their hands on the biggest stash of fireworks. Didn't change much in adulthood, it would seem.

Eagerly awaiting the White House presser where DJT declared himself "Acting President of Iran" any minute now.

They may overturn Roe. They may defund Planned Parenthood. But they can't stop family planning.

You cannot travel back in time to stop a tyrant from doing a tyranny—you must stop them before or while it is in progress.

Trump is sooo mad that Obama beat him to the truth about the X files.

The new DOJ livery is very on-brand.

Caution: Do Not Kick The Curling Stone

Any structure erected by this administration should be torn down and reconsidered for possible reconstruction or historic restoration to its original form. At least to make sure it doesn't resemble something designed by ChatGPT and purchased from Temu.

Lighting the Olympic cauldron once NZ finally gets to host the games is going to be epic.

CBP should be required by law to have its budget capped as less than CPB.

Much like happened to Game of Thrones, the final season of The American Experiment is just not worth the time to sit through.

DJT wanted so badly to say he married a movie star that he got Bezos to buy a movie featuring his eastern european wife, ala Tommy Wiseau's "The Room", but with even worse ratings. It had to be a documentary because even Tommy has better acting range.

WASHINGTON D.C. – February 2, 2026 – President Donald J. Trump announced that while the Trump/Kennedy center is rebuilt with the aesthetic of Mar-a-Lago, most performances will be cancelled except for a continuous loop of old episodes of "The Apprentice" and the "Melania" documentary.

I'm creating a playlist for the end times. This sits high in the sequence. youtu.be/UM1Rn3PD3Z0?...

And then Catherine O'Hara is taken from us. Schitt.