Matt Botts

Thursday is a paid holiday. Because Flavor Flav said so.

Don’t let the major companies control every bit of tech you touch. Tweak a few settings, or opt out of their options entirely. Either way, you win. www.eff.org/pages/welco...

All games require updates before you can play, I get that. However I’ve been prompted 4 times to download Call of Duty’s campaign, despite my pre-installation. I just want to play my mindless shooty game

New — I wrote about Vivek Ramaswamy’s weaponization of Amy Acton’s childhood sexual abuse and how it’s only the latest symptom of a Republican party flush with rape apologists, led by an adjudicated rapist:

we've identified another vulnerability leak. now hackers on the dark web have identified your bad knee and that weird thing your shoulder does if you sleep on it wrong. there's no patch available for this, they're now just keenly aware you feel like your career has stalled out

If you don’t follow thetoiletkiddamien on Instagram you are missing out on greatness

Gentrification must be stopped, the kids don’t know E-40 or his marvelous slurricaines

Brewers are going to the world series!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 strike away!!!!!!!!!

Whaaaaaaaat is happening!! Hamilton absolutely smoked that ball

Home run Milwaukee!!

Look at all them hot pants!

Shane Gillis and his soup dumpling face are why roofie-detecting nail polish has a market

Don’t mind me, I’m just over here freaking out about the Brewers winning 2 in a row against the Dodgers in the NLCS

Told my wife I bought protectors for some blu-ray cases She just sighed and said “that’s the most Matt thing I’ve ever heard” 18 years of successful marriage, ladies and gentlemen

Saw Heart of the Beast Movie was fine. Pitt should have have the cajones to fart as he passed out from the heart attack. We all read the Hatchet. We know what happens when a bush plane crashes because the pilot had a heart attack

wife: honey, can you read to the baby? husband: grok, do a vulgar roast of the baby grok: hello baby, your mind is not fully developed yet husband: no, more vulgar, use a gilbert gottfried voice

Update: No cancer!

[Getting interrupted while taking the side of sexual assault] "Have you no DECENCY Sir!"

In tornado footage my favorite type of guy is the Midwesterner who films next to a plate glass window yelling “it just tore da ruff off Menards!”

Looked at my Audible history and fuck, I need to get out more

Ope, how about dat Brew Crew!

Is any house really a home if you don’t have a lightly used yoni steam chair?

Do I want military bases to have redundancy in case of attack? Yes! This is just cheaping out on grid resiliency and calling it security

Update on Babka the gas station cat: this kitten only wants cuddles and to watch birds

Me: The Boomer nostalgia obsession is so tacky and toxic. Who would want to fill an entire room with Coke memorabilia? Also me 20 minutes later: That video store advertisement for Armageddon on VHS is going to look so cool in my movie room display