Dan Conlin

Me: Hi My dentist:

I don't think I'll ever watch that leaked Mass Effect 5 trailer. I can't imagine it ever not hurting.

If you hated BioWare's recent output but miss its older games, that's valid. If you think this is the time to talk about how you hated its recent output, I shudder to imagine you giving a eulogy.

I know we all need something to smile at right now for various reasons, so why not make it a laugh with this stupidly hilarious masterpiece from Ninja Sex Party? m.youtube.com/watch?v=mfdp...

WHAT ABOUT THE DEVS?? For the newly laid off ME team, that's complicated. To my knowledge, the people largely writing on the new ME did not work on the previous MEs. I have not heard where the current people are going. I'm also a Dragon Age fan account, so I know them better. Where did they land?

Fuck EA.

The fact that every "why are you unsubscribing?" survey from spammy junk email newsletters includes the option "I never subscribed to this" feels especially petty of them.

If you're romantically into an autistic person, I can't stress enough that you need to specifically tell them that in the most clear and unambiguous wording possible. We're like shitty genies. Unless you tell us your exact wish in perfect detail, there's no telling what dumb shit we'll assume.

My life goal is to walk into my local game store and the staff asking me "the usual?" before handing me my weekly copy of Star Wars Super Bombad Racing.

Spam political text: "Join the Republican Road Trip at these stops near you!" My reply: "Nice, now I know where to send the strippers." Their reply: "You have successfully been unsubscribed."

I'll never forget my uncle's reaction to seeing these guys in #StarWars. "Now he's got everybody wearing those funny hats."

Everyone thinks faster than me and I don't enjoy that.

I see Sera love, I like it.

Finished a new chapter of my Pokémon fanfic inspired by yamujiburo's adorable "Jessie and Delia" comics if we got any fanfiction readers on here. Here's chapter 1 if you'd like to start from the beginning: archiveofourown.org/works/541230...

I strive to be as funny as the flight crew on the red eye I took once who spent every announcement singing about how sleep deprived and underpaid they were.

Happy Phanniversary to those who observe.

Lately I've been seeing a lot of depressing posts about how people discard their own experiences in favor of efficiency and utility, and for some reason I needed to launch into a disjointed and pedantic rant about why useless is good.

Pokémon X got me back into the series. It was exactly the 3D evolution I'd been begging for since Blue.

this is my vent art

When someone literally anywhere mentions my hyperfixation.

An overeager guest donning a keyblade was sent home from a local swingers event after making a scene. paletteswap.site/dif...

Anybody else Hard Launching in Akron tonight? #danandphil #hardlaunch

Seeing someone else finally say this feels like I've come home after being trapped in an alternate dimension.

I made art of people being cute! (My obsession with Eternal Strands has had an effect.)

Respect to Jane for calling out Mass Effect: Andromeda, a provably good game I will defend to my dying breath, as her underrated title here. But if she didn't remember who she romanced, I can basically promise she didn't romance Vetra. Spiky girlfriend for life.

Any #danandphil fans on here going to the Akron show? I made some stickers as freebies to hand out and would love to see some of you there! Come find me around the city or at the venue and look for the green hair!

Celebrities shouldn't worry so much about fading into obscurity. I've lived in obscurity my whole life. It's a nice area. Lots of cheap restaurants nearby.

I followed every bit of news about it religiously. I've never been so obsessed with an upcoming system. I was basically the "NINTENDO SIXTY FOOOOOOOUR" kid when we finally got one (long after everyone else). Mario Kart 64 and Donkey Kong 64 remain my top picks.

You hate Taylor Swift because "ew girl music". I hate Taylor Swift because she's an out of touch billionaire. We are not the same.

I miss when every movie had an exchange between a kid and adult that went "no way!" "Way!"

I'm just gonna say it. A large percentage of the people who complain about "Marvel dialog" in movies, shows, and games have lost the sense of joy and whimsy in their lives.

I don't know if this makes sense, but... I hate when I can't fall asleep, but I also want to be able to enjoy the feeling right before I fall asleep for longer.

*somebody knocks on my door* Nope *somebody knocks on my door in a whimsical rhythm* NOPE

“I’m absolutely being imprisoned for a political agenda,” activist Autumn Hill tells Democracy Now! in a phone call from Texas’s Johnson County Correctional Facility, where the 30-year-old trans woman is serving a 50-year prison sentence for protesting outside the Prairieland ICE jail last July.

No YOU just bookmarked a recipe from a porn site comment section.