Lo, Rich Times (the eep enjoyer)

Hey you know what's really good? Laying down

Hey Ontarians who can vote today! If you already voted, thank you! If you didn't, there's still time! If you live in Toronto, please consider that Brad Bradford is a disingenuous clown and will be terrible for this city

Fucking Ted Cruz at the #F1 race!? Hey @f1tv.bsky.social can you pass along to your corporate masters that allowing people like this to attend your races makes you look absolutely awful?

I think it's pretty clear that Max Verstappen is a generational talent who probably has even more World Driver's Championship ahead of him. It would just be great if someone would teach him how to properly use the word "undrivable" and what the term "needless exaggeration" means

I'm not happy Scotiabank has been allowed to use Baba O'Reilly in commercials

This is a sixteenth thing that is stupid and I love it

How can the name Lloyd have two L's at the front? I'm sure there's a reason for this, but I immediately reject it without hearing it. No offense to all the Lloyds, especially Lloyd Bridges and Christopher Lloyd. Or should I say Loyd Bridges and Christopher Loyd

Go figure that a province that doesn't give a shit about cyclist safety doesn't care about worker safety

I know no one gives a F about safety or the law when the province is involved - but those workers & police should be wearing PPE for this work. Did they cover the catchbasins? Did they warn residents to close windows? The city would never get away with this. www.gazzolapaving.com/files/employ...

Dave Stieb should have won the AL Cy Young in 82, 83, and 84!

This is a fifteenth thing that is stupid and I love it

This is a reasonable chuckle, but Chevron doesn't want your shitty body parts, and with the rise of AI, they don't need your children for slave labour anymore either

If I built an AI lab and it went rogue and gave us all the jet packs we were promised, I’m betting they’d suddenly figure out how to prosecute me.

I have a 100% conversion rate on making way too much food for every holiday meal

Thanksgiving went off without a hitch. Smoked bacon covered turkey, smoked salmon, mashed potatoes, cheddar bay biscuits, green beans, stuffing (with bacon and sausage), Brussels sprouts, and red cabbage salad, and gravy (in a Yeti)

The turkey is in the smoker! I repeat, the turkey is in the smoker!

I was just asked by my 20 year old niece (attending the most prestigious University in the country and studying in the sciences) if wild turkeys "do anything for fun?"

I've always said the best way to convert people to Catholicism would be for Jesus to resurrect and tell everyone to follow the Vatican. Second best would be if the White Sox win the World Series every year this Pope is alive

I wrote about how medical dramas can bring back some trauma. THE PITT (IN MY HEART) at Look in Your Heart www.chrismelito.com/blog/the-pit...

"I use AI chatbots and that doesn't say anything about me or my skills or my taste and if you don't use AI chatbots then you're doing something wrong" is a significant portion of personal social media takes about AI chatbots. Fuck That Noise

Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool

Hey, so it turns out I can't watch dramatic television re-enactments of smart ass white guys having a myocardial infarction and interacting with hospital staff. Who knew!?

The only problem with this is that vagina dentata is less spooky than the utter horror of eating candy corn

I gave a talk last week about tech billionaires (we really don't like them) and how to fight them (labour organizing, it's always labour organizing). Come take a 9-minute break from producing shareholder value and watch! Thanks to @thewalrus.ca for inviting me for #WalrusTalks 🍁

What comes with this is that dudes have to also not respond to this behaviour with "you're just white-knighting" or "stop being performative to score points." Fuck those guys. Call out bigotry where you see it, even if you're going to get push-back from peers who benefit from the status quo

What's still wild to me is that Toronto bike lanes kinda suck, are not sufficiently safe enough, and could/should be so much better, but they're being torn out not to improve them but because an egotistical baby doesn't want cyclists to have lanes at all

The best deus ex machina in the history of fiction is Life of Brian when the aliens save the messiah (he's not the Messiah! He's a naughty boy!) from falling to his death

My rocket engineer told me the ocean keep eating his rockets so I asked how many rockets he has and he said he just goes to the Starbase and gets a new rocket afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding rockets to the ocean and then his CEO started crying.

This is a fourteenth thing that is stupid and I love it

You gotta give it to Porsche for the 911. It's always a great car. Every one. Are some better than others? Of course! I'd rather have a RUF CTR Yellowbird than a 996, but it's not like I'd be crying if I had a 996. Good job, you German bastards

Just as "the war on Christmas" was actually Christian supremacists making war on anyone who didn't want to celebrate Christmas, "the war on cars," is actually a bunch of bougie fascists making war on anyone who just doesn't want to use cars

I always forget Joey Pants is in Goonies

He’s just so stupid. He is so breathtakingly stupid that the above statement is all it takes for every person reading this to know exactly who I’m talking about. Yes, folks, it's Peregrin Took

It’s very simple. A reality TV host became dictator because he turned down a role for Sharknado 4 and that’s why the king of outer space, who cheats at Diablo, got to kill Africa. Now the economy is controlled by a sex cult that has something to do with Harry Potter fanfic because of robots.

My band @survivalclubtheband.com is hitting the road next week for 6 shows in Ontario and Québec, supporting the Honest Heart Collective. Here's where and when you can see us! 09/24 Sudbury 09/25 Ottawa 09/26 Kingston 09/27 Montréal 10/01 London 10/02 Toronto It would be awesome to see you there!

There are no activists calling for recognition of OJ. That's not activist behavior. Activists don't honour people who murder their wife and another dude

Just saw the North American premiere of @manmademoon.bsky.social's Rogue Trooper at TIFF Midnight Madness. Tremendously fun and had me sitting on the edge of my seat to see what was coming next. Fabulous!

Apparently it's Batman Day? So I'll leave you with this absolute banger of Bob Kane's epitaph. Full text in the image alt text. Clue: it's worth the read 😁

Ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang?