Chris Spann

No it wasn't, because that would make me nearly 40 and I'm actually 21

Slamming into reverse so fast you can hear the gears crunch

If you put a pop singer in a box and don't open that box, they're both simultaneously alive and dead Sherzinger's pussycat

I have a little device that blocks apps while I'm in work - if you open one a block screen comes up and you have to tap a button that says "Back to Living". "Ah yes, *living* - the rich tapestry of the human experience" I think to myself, as I put down my phone and look back to Google Sheets.

I never told Nick but he unwittingly helped rebuild my self confidence after it was totally crushed by being made redundant from my previous job. I remember telling my wife about how he was offering to help me out with work and pay and her saying "are you sure, nobody is that nice" Nick was though

My dad sent me a video of a composer trying out Suno and being all "my career is over!!" and at one point he was going "you'll be able to get in the car and go to the shops and it'll just generate a song about you getting in the car and going to the shops!!!" and I'm screaming WHO WANTS THAT THOUGH

“Please give me a trillion dollars to reshape the world economy. Also, I don't know where I live."

@comutiny.bsky.social @jessthebp.bsky.social Kami, Jess, Jess, Kami. Kami, Jess is my friend who works in data science that I said I'd speak to. Jess, Kami is my friend who thinks he might like to work in data science. I've written both of your names too many times and they've ceased to have meaning

@gavtrdq.bsky.social just watching your video about TF the movie; watched it today and I also nearly burst into tears during Dare but more out of weird painful nostalgia and thinking about my kids who are the age I was when I first saw that movie. Put Kpop demon hunters into a new light for sure

The big problem with liking extreme metal is every now and then you have to say the phrase "I quite like progressive sludge" out loud

Oh what's that? You're a successful entrepreneur who sold their first business at 21? You drive a Porsche and want for nothing? That's cool and all but I spent the day watching nu-metal concerts on a 14" CRT, so I think we know who the real rich man is

a lot freaks me out about AI but 0% of my anxiety is about AGI. i think this is the part that freaks me out the most right now -- the many many indications that no one is at the wheel and no adults are present

The last cookie formed from the dough is usually a little weird and misshapen and I do not respect it or find it endearing, it is the runt of the batch and I eat it first to get it out of my life

What a great way to spend a Monday evening

YOU - Hold on. Have I ever eaten a burger out of the trash? ENDURANCE - You have. The body remembers.

Flash was once the playground of the web: games, animations & experiments made by anyone with an idea. 💻 Preserving those creations helps recover a lost chapter of culture. Jason Scott explores why Flash matters & why its preservation is vital. 📖 Download & read: archive.org/details/vani... 🧵

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My favourite thing in the world is reporting people on vinted who are deliberately selling fake G-Shocks

I love when people come over to Bluesky to beg us to fight with them on X again. You lost! We’re not playing with you anymore!

Shame to see two absolute meffs wearing anti-trans sandwich boards at the front of Chester pride this afternoon, trying to goad people into providing content for their sad little social media channels

Apparently £5million can’t buy you enough security to protect you from an imaginary threat.

My favourite 2 hours of the day are the final minute of any washing machine cycle

On top of the politics of the business, a service that wants you to log in, accept notifications and then give it a mobile number just so you can read a blog post is not a service I will use

airbnb I’m staying at unintentionally created the toughest punk album cover of 2027

me checking the back of my pc

ALERT ALERT: Coffeepot, my dirt cheap Tiny SEO Monitor has had a HUGE update - internal link checking, domain expiry alerts and more! Head to coffeepot.app to check it out

@mrjamesob.bsky.social going to expensive private school ruined your brain

A gritty reboot of Mount Your Friends

Never has the amount of time between me saying "Alexa play LBC" and "Alexa stop" been so short

react has been doing hydration breaks since 2013

i find it very funny that, canonically, the last character in this comic strip would be required by his belief system to murder you the instant you admitted to having used any kind of AI for any purpose

No, yes. Next

Old enough to recognize this as a data center

More and more sites are serving AI markdown while asking you to bat away signup modals, load MBs of JS and X away ads But if they're serving markdown... Why not read that instead? If you're giving bots VIP access to your content, I'm going to pretend to be one. chris-spann.co.uk/impersonatin...

I am looking forward to this heatwave ending just because it means I won't have to see any more discourse about Aircon for a while

If you're serving bots nicely formatted markdown but giving users div soup that forces them to download 15MB of JS that does nothing for them, you're treating humans as second class citizens. I wrote something to redress the balance a bit: chris-spann.co.uk/impersonatin...

Me: Okay, there's been a thunderstorm, the heatwave should be over now. (New health bar appears) (The sun is now named 'Sol, Starflame of Regret') (Objectively the greatest piece of classical music ever recorded starts playing).

If you're serving bots nicely formatted markdown but giving users div soup that forces them to download 15MB of JS that does nothing for them, you're treating humans as second class citizens. I wrote something to redress the balance a bit: chris-spann.co.uk/impersonatin...

Owning a phone in 2026: I have to accept an invite to my daughter's class group on the app school uses. Except I can't, because the upsell popup that tried to sell me the premium version(!!!) renders the close button underneath the status bar on my phone, so I can't press ut

It's not called "Daddy daycare" it's called "toiling under the tyranny of big child"

It's too hot and my brain has died. This can't be real, surely