Carys

when shawty got scrib doon humor but you genuinely havent gotten play since black 9/11

I need my head popped like scanners

#My9Games

this is libelous slander and completely unacceptable. he is MY boyfriend

me when I'm sponsored by apple tv

sometimes I buy 50 cents worth of in-game currency for a game I don't even play. just to feel something

we got persona 6 spoilers before persona 6

the valve employee who fucked up the API sound asleep blissfully unaware of whats happening

serving a life sentence and got parole. still in prison, but now they're letting me smoke?

music is so good for processing emotions, it's like they wrote that shit about feelings

Louis Theroux-style handjob

I'm getting hatecrimed in the bathroom at the jane remover blaccent cafe

alright y'all it's time to wrap it up with the justin bieber edits. it's not funny anymore. royal declaration

I believe we should protect queer art. unless it's icky art that makes me uncomfortable. in which case I believe the creator should be put to death by the state

Random Australian guy through a hologram: "we have to deliver these parts to West Knot City so we can kick start the development of new chiral technologies and connect the world" Me [heard "knot city" and got so hard i got nauseous]: i think i hauve Dooms

ChatGPT: you’re right you’re so much smarter than him. He’s so schlubby and you’re so suave. Columbo will never catch you.

I'm getting head in the head at the northernlion supercruise

fuck my gay ass life bro . just threw up on my bosses beautiful new red wing shoes

left girlfriend #3 on read and forgot to buy girlfriend #2 a birthday present. my body is NOT going in the polycule crypt

posting hog exclusively on signal stories

personally, I think 78 is funnier

I hate being trans why couldn't I have just been born a girl with a 7" penis

I actually do think people who feel patriotism are beneath me, sorry

I'm beyond "let people enjoy things" if you like harry potter you are beneath me. you are a worm to be trodden upon

listening to pink triangle and pretending that rivers cuomo is talking about me

racist guy with tourettes who can't stop shouting "black lives matter!" at the klan rally

watching the color drain from my friends' faces as I reveal the activity for game night is "guess the chuck berry song from the opening 2 seconds."

halo top? uh, mister chief?

a gangster government cowering in fear of a decrepit man, misery incarnate, himself terrified of the long black shadow of his life behind him, one riddled with crime and a deep hatred of other people, a man with no virtue, no soul, a man of nothing, a specter.

girl I'm not even a one seater I'm just a loser

if beck was born in 2002 he'd be cooking up some insane puppygirl hyperpop shit rn I guarantee you

hitting a move on the dance floor so white the speakers start spraying mayonnaise

they say wealth is about your mindset and, well, let's just say having no money is making me feel pretty poor rn

I'm getting head in the bathroom at the jane remover blaccent cafe

call me well-traveled the way I know my way around them/their parts

topping a superhuman gotta be scary as shit. I mean, what if they clench your shit smoove off

Anyone else think it's a little problematic for a no-chrome gonk to say "choom"? 🧵1/637

call me a puppygirl the way I got barqs in me

hate being asked shit like "what songs can you play?" and "do you know how to slap?" when I bring my bass to the function. like, bitch, I'm just here to fuck the drummer