avaned.bsky.social

avaned.bsky.social

@avaned.bsky.social

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My suicide letters will automatically be sent, this Friday. At 11:59pm. I will take the drugs. I will die shortly after. After that, you'll carry my story to the press. Ill be made into a martyr.

They'll make a photo of me that shares my insignificant accomplishments. Ill be shared around until I am forgotten again. Just to be found over and over again. Like a sad tombstone, long forgotten in the forest. Im tired of fighting the war. I yearn to go missing. My crusade to living will end.

If all else fails, we will give up entirely. Currently I am working on getting OBS up and running so I can stream my games during the day, because when I am not applying for jobs all night or on the toilet, I am keeping myself busy with that. When this is done, I will let you all know. Thanks!

Good Morning. I figured, I would speak now because I have been relying on others to speak for me. And I apologize if this is hard to follow. But when I am emotional. I write the same way a doomsayer chants in the street, holding the bell and wearing the sign.

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The choice is up to you, all of you, are an extraneous variable. An outlier to a box and whisker plot. When many people get together to do something small, it can make such a large impact. Pointillism, is the art of many small dots, to create a bigger picture. You can be a dot in this picture.

Whether you skip by, and leave your darkest shade. Or you add a hue of color peering through my most quiet door. Help me, help myself. It's all that I ask. While there is a listed goal, it will accept donations past the amount. Everything, anything. Helps. gogetfunding.com/urgent-need-...

gogetfunding.comUrgent Need For Basic NecessitiesA friend of mine is having trouble paying for their rent and car payments after being put on leave by their workplace. They are at risk of being evicted if they can’t make their rent payments soon. Th...
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Good Morning. I figured, I would speak now because I have been relying on others to speak for me. And I apologize if this is hard to follow. But when I am emotional. I write the same way a doomsayer chants in the street, holding the bell and wearing the sign.

View full thread

Is actually my great grandmother. My grandfather died, not knowing who is real father was. And I cannot hypothesize my future, because I am an experiment that I simply don't have the prior knowledge to run. There are only two outcomes, I come out of this, and I finally scramble to my feet.

Or I sit in the jar in the closet, in the most brooding of dark. If you made it this far, I thank you. Because people like you might be the last that cares. Or maybe you stumbled on this post the same way a child finds a frog in the creek.

Good Morning. I figured, I would speak now because I have been relying on others to speak for me. And I apologize if this is hard to follow. But when I am emotional. I write the same way a doomsayer chants in the street, holding the bell and wearing the sign.

View full thread

As much as I want to die, I want to live. I want to do great things but I am not even being given a chance. I wake up and I am in agony, I go to sleep and it is the closest thing to dying that I can get to. Somedays, some weeks, I don't sleep. I've been running on about an hour of sleep.

Applying for jobs and trying to picture the part of the painting where I win and I am able to give back as much as I was given, but in the dark I see the cascade of my ashes in a jar, tucked away in my mother's closet. In the same way, that my great aunt on my father's side.

Good Morning. I figured, I would speak now because I have been relying on others to speak for me. And I apologize if this is hard to follow. But when I am emotional. I write the same way a doomsayer chants in the street, holding the bell and wearing the sign.

View full thread

People keep telling me that things will get better, but I am convinced otherwise. As a trans woman, my insurance was canceled by the state, so I have been regressing into hideousness, to the point where I don't want people to look at me.

Every time I was offered a job so far, it was swooped, denied, a ghost posting, or a straight up fucking bait and switch. My complaint with the PAHRB has not gone anywhere, it is still out and they are still investigating my claims against my former employer's.

Good Morning. I figured, I would speak now because I have been relying on others to speak for me. And I apologize if this is hard to follow. But when I am emotional. I write the same way a doomsayer chants in the street, holding the bell and wearing the sign.

View full thread

I had an interview at burger king, filled out hiring paperwork. Was told that my next day was Monday, and when I walked in Monday ready to work. They looked at me, said "We didn't hire you." and from there, I punched out the small tray of cookies from the store front all the way to the dishes.

The same man who told me I was hired, went through all the paperwork. Had me sign a copy of their employee handbook. Told me, that they never hired me. I have another interview tuesday, at a nursing home as a housekeeper.

Good Morning. I figured, I would speak now because I have been relying on others to speak for me. And I apologize if this is hard to follow. But when I am emotional. I write the same way a doomsayer chants in the street, holding the bell and wearing the sign.

View full thread

I applied for state work, in Warren County as an Social Services Administration Assistant. On the way I got pulled over by the state police, my car being very illegal, I got to my interview, what I thought was a good interview. Two days later. I see, application denied.

I apply for local positions in the town that I live in that I can walk to and I see "Application denied." or the posting was old and that they weren't hiring anymore. I reached out to child care agencies in Erie County, PA. One of them has outright denied me always. The other one, also denied me.

Good Morning. I figured, I would speak now because I have been relying on others to speak for me. And I apologize if this is hard to follow. But when I am emotional. I write the same way a doomsayer chants in the street, holding the bell and wearing the sign.

View full thread

He said that they had filled the position. I had to think about this because my car was already illegal, and I would be risking a lot to get to and from work. In June, I applied for a local health care agency that worked with people with disabilities. I signed over my W4 and everything.

The man said I had a job. After multiple attempts of calling back, after walking into the office and confronting the man. I was told that, they were still working on it and they would call me back eventually. I went back to applying. I also never got a call back from him.

Good Morning. I figured, I would speak now because I have been relying on others to speak for me. And I apologize if this is hard to follow. But when I am emotional. I write the same way a doomsayer chants in the street, holding the bell and wearing the sign.

I first have to thank people that have donated, that have contributed to keeping me afloat. This shit is hard and it bother's me that I have to ask others to carry the burden for me. I have applied to a few thousand jobs. Reached out to my alma mater's career success center.

Followed up with the leads that they have gave me. I applied for jobs in the PAcareerlink website, I have applied on indeed, glassdoor, and linkedin. In may, I thought I might have a job cleaning up after peoples pets, going to house to house. Called him back, after asking for the weekend to think.

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