Ashley

iced coffee with 6 shots of espresso down my gullet

Love this count we have going lmfao embarrassing

This is all very simple. Let the world's two biggest babies fight and visibly construct and build a world without them. Anybody who tries to welcome Elon Musk, the world's most preeminent ratfucker, into their political party should be put in a dog crate until 2029.

2025 AL Pitching WAR Leaders Kris Bubic (3.1) Max Fried (2.7) Nathan Eovaldi (2.5) Garrett Crochet (2.4) All Leaders: https://www.baseball-reference.com/leagues/AL/2025-pitching-leaders.shtml

WOKE POPE 👊🏻 🇺🇸🔥

I blame George W. Bush. He softened America up to the idea that we could have someone stupid in the White House and things would still function.

France raises a fascinating hypothetical point: what if the law still exists even if people might get mad at you

nightmare group chat

Circling back on this…

all of history is a struggle between guys who go “oh shit that’s crazy” and guys who say “that seems fake”

Watching the joint address of Congress, it's pretty clear that there will be no bipartisan anything for, perhaps, generations.

Personally it feels like the US is trying to gamble with WWIII

I hate everyone :)

No shit.

For all who need this today. (from 'Meister Eckhart's Book of Darkness and Light')

El Capitan displays a massive American flag upside down—the traditional signal of distress or extreme emergency.

The Usher halftime show came and went... Rih announced a pregnancy during hers and it lasted one business day... We on Day 5 of heated discussion abt Kendrick's halftime show. 5. Whole. Days. And. Counting. ...but I'm supposed to believe it was trash.

HB955: Authorizes a state sales tax exemption for the purchase of diapers, incontinence products, and feminine hygiene products Status: Read Second Time (H) 2025-01-22 Sponsor: Pattie Mansur (D) HD-025

We’re tripping over the bar

Pitchers and catchers, but not in a dirty way

Don’t forget to donate to Planned Parenthood in kicky boy Harrison Butker’s honor, for every extra point scored! www.plannedparenthood.org/get-involved...

Crockett: "If feels as if y'all have just decided that y'all are gonna castrate your constitutional duty & hand it over to someone who was unelected. It doesn't matter how many cheerleaders he had on the field campaigning for him. That doesn't mean he gets to go in and sit atop any of our agencies"

A gay guy, a Black man, and a woman walk into a flight deck— that’s not the beginning of a joke, but just a regular day at work! There was so much DEI on this plane that we could hardly get in the air. Luckily my limp wrists were able to wrestle the heavy jet back to the ground 💅🏼

Jesus fuck every minute gets worse

if we staff ICE with Uvalde police officers, they'll never enter schools

Coffee tariffs are a great excuse for Panera to bring back the cardiac arrest lemonade tho

I’m just glad that my faith in humanity isn’t alive to see any of this.

At least we’re concerned with important matters, like renaming the Gulf of Mexico.

I’ll tell you what, watching Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen rip shots in CNN is my favorite New Year’s tradition

RIP jimmy carter you were too nice for politics

Back to the kitchen, kicky boy

I can’t believe it’s only been 14 days since those eyebrows became an internet sensation

Very much fuck with this

You couldn’t waterboard my version of “we listen and we don’t judge” out of me

We are not a serious country lmao

😅😅😅

nasa Diaries from an astronaut ✍️⁣.

Breaking News: C-Suite exec of publicly traded company makes a deal with the devil

Crazy, scary, spooky, hilarious

For five years, I have been covering what is unquestionably the biggest criminal justice scandal in American history. Today it ended when the most corrupt cop in history took his life. But it's not over. A thread.

Ban books, but the big red billboard that blasts ‘Have Great Sex Again’ in big words for early readers, is fine

I just cannot with me rn

“So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.” — Bob Dylan