Angry People in Local Newspapers

12 Nov 2024

PINNED TWEET: It’s a cat. That panther you saw, that wolf, that yeti, that ghost, that strange light in the sky. Cat. It’s always a cat.

10m

A plague on all your houses, provided they lie within the council hotspot map. www.newarkadvertiser.co.uk/news/e-bike-...

dailyecho.co.ukHampshire man 'fed up' as school-run parking blocks paths and 'ruins' grassA Hampshire man says inconsiderate parking on his street has left him “fed up” and struggling to find a space

15m

It’s oh-so-easy to laugh at a man who has elected to wear his pyjamas when the paper came round to take his photo, but those *are* his second best ones

22m

Typical woke Labour ideology. Pandering to Peruvian ursine immigrants.

kentonline.co.uk‘We’re not Nimbys - but this new-build estate needs love, not 230 more homes’Residents opposing plans for 230 more homes on a new-build estate insist they are not Nimbys - but stress the scheme should be put on hold.

30m

“Please don’t put it in the paper that we’re NIMBYs,” said the NIMBYs.

33m

Annie’s written a poem called Gardener, which means so must I. His name is unknown But they call him The Gardener He does monstrous tasks For a monstrous fee. He makes problems disappear But he blotted his copybook in that Africa business But he’ll also come along And cut your lawn if you want.

abc.net.auMildura becomes home of the Big SultanaMildura's newest tourist attraction is big, brown and shrivelled but has a smile as welcoming as the mighty Murray River.

“Let’s drive 400 kilometres to Mildura to see a giant sultana” God knows I would.

countypress.co.ukSix-year-old lorry fan gets birthday ride in Island Roads gritterA young lorry fan was given the birthday treat of a lifetime with a surprise visit to a depot

Happy birthday Ayrton, we hope the lorry had an amusing name. #NiceThings

ndr.dePolizei rettet Mann aus Schrott-Container - und stellt fest, dass er per Haftbefehl gesucht wirdDer Mann war im Stadtteil Stellingen in einen Elektroschrott-Containergeklettert - und kam nicht mehr heraus. Später stellte sich heraus: Er wurde per Haftbefehl gesucht.

Meanwhile in Germany 🇩🇪: Emergency services rescue a man who was trying to rob electrical appliances from a recycling bin. Bonus content: Police found he had an outstanding arrest warrant, and whatever the German for “You’re nicked, Sonny Jim” is, that.

Happy 17th anniversary to this pumpkin-based disappointment, and the knowledge that this pair of monsters are now adults, delighted with the reminder. www.dorsetecho.co.uk/news/4704471...

abc.net.auPolice who pull over speeding driver find themselves delivering babyA speeding driver in Victoria's south-west has been let off from a ticket after police came to the rescue to deliver a baby who would wait for no-one.

One of those feel-good stories that you think is a cliché, but it really isn’t. #NiceThings

18h

Police are looking for a Mr Ea-Nasir, of 1 Old Street, Ur, Kingdom of Babylon.

18h

SPAM ADVERT: I have questions. So many questions.

tv2.noHanna kjøpte julebrus – bak etiketten skjulte det seg noe annetHanna Folkestad skulle nyte favorittjulebrusen. Men da etiketten begynte å falle av, fikk hun sjokk over hva som skjulte seg bak.

19h

Meanwhile in Norway 🇳🇴: Shoppers are SHOCKED to discover that their tins of “Christmas Soda” are actually in Summer Soda tins with a different label (however the makers swear that it really is the Christmas drink, but they have a shortage of cans)

sydsvenskan.seTitti fick ingen sovmorgon – städaren råkade slå på kyrkklockorna 06.18Panikslagen städare slog av misstag på klockorna i stället för strömbrytaren.

20h

Meanwhile in Sweden (again) 🇸🇪: Locals are FUMMIN because a cleaner accidentally set the church bells off at 6.18am

theargus.co.ukPensioner banned from selling on Facebook after bird bath deemed to be 'explosives'Jayne Ross, a pensioner from East Worthing, has been banned from Facebook Marketplace after its automated system mistook her bird bath for a weapon.

Never argue with the Moderator Bot. The Moderator Bot is tired of your shit, even if it is perfectly legal.

omni.seBesvikelsen: Tomten saknar en hand och bordet brinnerNär 24-åriga Linnea Söderström kom hem och tittade en extra gång på sin nyköpta chokladkalender inför julen blev hon besviken, rapporterar SvD.

Meanwhile in Sweden 🇸🇪: Disappointment over AI-generated chocolate advent calendar where Santa has no hands and the table is on fire.

kentonline.co.uk'Cars keep on crashing into my property, when will the council install crash barriers?’A homeowner who has shelled out more than £10,000 repairing a wall repeatedly smashed by cars fears someone will die unless crash barriers are put up.

Drivers: Please stop crashing into Inspector Morse’s house.

cornwalllive.comTwo-hour Ryanair flight home turns into nine-hour ordeal 'to nowhere'The ordinarily two-hour flight home to Cornwall turned into a nine-hour ordeal - leaving dozens of passengers right back where they started on no sleep and with nowhere to go

That’s what you get if you don’t pay the Ryanair £50 “I’m tired of life, please attempt to land in 80mph winds” surcharge.

Genuinely disappointed at the lack of “Lula beats off Bolsonaro in Brazilian election” headlines. What even are you for, world news media, if not for childish double entendres?

bbc.co.ukAustralian murderer loses bid to eat Vegemite in prisonAndre McKechnie, who murdered a property developer, argued it was his right to enjoy Australian culture.

“What is the crime? Eating a sandwich? A succulent Vegemite sandwich?”

Today in The Daily Telegraph with is finger on the pulse of the nation: Something about a soggy bottom, I dunno.

herefordtimes.comEngineer says Herefordshire is STILL getting pothole repairs wrongA Herefordshire resident waging a decade-long campaign over the county’s potholes problem claims the same mistakes are still being made.

“Semi-retired roads engineer Stephen Forman”, or, as he’s known at the council, “Oh, it’s you”.

essexlive.news'Buses driving through potholes shakes my house so much my cup of tea vibrates'"This is not a 'vibration' concern, my house shakes. If there is a cup of tea in front of me, the liquid ripples."

Yet there you are, without tea.

manchestereveningnews.co.uk'It’s torture. This is sleep deprivation. That is a recognised torture method'Former Tameside Mayor John Sullivan claims overnight M67 diversions for the £228m Mottram bypass project are sending 400 HGVs a night past his Hyde home - shaking beds, smashing over potholes, and rob...

You’ll remember the time that the CIA hired a clandestine fleet of trucks to drive past the presidential palace in Cuba all night. Drove Fidel Castro MAD!!! www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater...

Angry People in Local Newspapers reposted

Odd This Day

@oddthisday.bsky.social

Replying to @oddthisday.bsky.social

Also, anyone got a decent rhyme for ‘orgy’…?

News headlines which are also football chants: 🎵 Yule log sausage roll Come on Arsenal score a goal 🎶

theguardian.comStung with a parking fine for an 18-second airport stop to tackle a waspNo matter what the cause, airports are ruthless in issuing PCNs if a car stops in a red zone. But there is a get-out clause

“I bet it’s Leeds Bradford Airport, or Bristol”, says I of the two airports most plagued by Parking Bastard™️. Reader, it was both.

The Guardian@theguardian.com

Stung with a parking fine for an 18-second airport stop to tackle a wasp

dailypost.co.ukRhyl Children's Village redevelopment backed with paddling pool on the tableDenbighshire council has backed the proposals for the seafront site

Well, that’s just an accident waiting to happen, isn’t it?

witneygazette.co.ukNostalgic old pictures of Oxfordshire kebab vans of the 2000sThis time on looking back we've found pictures of Oxfordshire's favourite kebab vans from the 2000s.

This is not only important, it is art.

nottinghampost.com'Stupidity' or 'lovely': The new additions in town that nobody can agree onConcerns include back pain, vandalism and aesthetics

“We want seating in the town centre” [seating is provided] “No, not like that!”

donegaldaily.comCar destroyed as Storm Boelo rocks Rossnowlagh Beach - Donegal DailyA car was destroyed as it was left stranded on the beach at Rossnowlagh, as Storm Boelo arrived yesterday afternoon.Numerous videos circulated across social med...

You can’t park there mate.

Angry People in Local Newspapers reposted

Odd This Day

@oddthisday.bsky.social

Replying to @oddthisday.bsky.social

And happy seventh anniversary to that headline (which I must have nicked off of @apiln.bsky.social, surely)

thecourier.co.ukAngus man who tried to fly drone into Perth Prison claimed Romanian circus stole his chihuahuaA drone pilot caught trying to fly a mobile phone into a maximum security prison has been jailed for nine months. Philip Moreton was found hiding in a

metro.co.ukWe earned more than £200,000 a year — but struggled to afford childcare'This is now getting completely out of control.'

The Daily Te… [checks notes] Sorry… Metro with its finger on the pulse of the nation.

thenorthernecho.co.uk‘Accident waiting to happen’ claim as villager calls for footbridge over A174A footbridge should be built over the busy A174 near Redcar to allow people living in an isolated village to cross safely to the other side, a resident says.

…KLAXON.

abc.net.auNearly 30-year-old Magnum ice cream found in shop freezerA regional Victorian shop owner has found an almost 30-year-old Magnum Ego ice cream hidden away in the back of his freezer.

Not now, cursed Magnum

cbc.ca82 days later, no repairs started on washed-out road dividing small Quebec town | CBC NewsResidents in L’Ascension, Que., are still waiting on repairs after August flooding washed away part of their main road. The municipality's mayor blames the delay for repairs on the bureaucracy of diff...

[Points in Canadian] [Désigne en Canadien]

dailyecho.co.ukSouthampton 'a city of lawlessness' - LetterWith regards to the City of Culture competition, how can it be that the city has been overlooked for promotion for lack of culture?

We haven’t had a truly unhinged letter for a while, so welcome to the inside of Alan’s head.

View full thread

dailyecho.co.uk'The streets are lined with illegal parked cars' - LetterSouthampton faces a shortage of driving instructors, long waiting times for would-be students, rising parking charges, and city council criticism amid motoring frustrations.

Many, many opinions.

Fair play that he’s [genuinely] still going strong at the age of 95, though.

dailyecho.co.ukSouthampton 'a city of lawlessness' - LetterWith regards to the City of Culture competition, how can it be that the city has been overlooked for promotion for lack of culture?

We haven’t had a truly unhinged letter for a while, so welcome to the inside of Alan’s head.

dailyecho.co.uk'We should be known as Bin City' - LetterHaving read the latest letters on the city situation, I am in agreement with most of the comments on the way the city is deteriorating.

Alan has OPINIONS. Many opinions.

three.fmDolly library opens up in Douglas!A charity launched by a country music legend says it's open for business in the Island's capital.

God bless you, Dolly. #NiceThings

lancashiretelegraph.co.ukTrain driver stopped to save woman on tracks - then they fell in loveTrain driver David Lay, who saved Charlotte from a mental health crisis before they became a couple, has shared their remarkable love story with Pendle Samaritans volunteers

CW Suicide: If you’re struggling, Samaritans are always there, and even at your deepest rock bottom there is always hope. #NiceThings

eastlothiancourier.com'Big hugs' for lollipop man on return to work, four months after hit-and-run ordealA lollipop man has spoken of his emotional return to work following a hit-and-run that left him with serious injuries.

Welcome back, fella #NiceThings

bournemouthecho.co.ukResidents ‘scared for their lives’ after tree brought down in stormStorm Austen tree falls onto a van at Mallard Close after residents warn the council for years about dangerous trees threatening homes and lives.

The first “A tree fell on my thing, as per the prophecy” of the weekend.

lancashiretelegraph.co.ukDarwen pub warns stinky customers may be asked to leave over 'strong smells'A Darwen pub has issued a blunt warning to customers that they may be refused service or asked to leave if they arrive smelling so strongly that it affects other patrons.

In today’s episode of People Are Terrible, people are terrible.

Angry People in Local Newspapers reposted

Pista

@pistabacsi.bsky.social

Paging @apiln.bsky.social Finger on the pulse of the nation klaxon