Unstable Genius

Ever heard of the Washington Generals? The Harlem Globetrotters' rivals. They're paid to lose, because they're owned by the same people, and they abide by standard rules and will never interfere with Globetrotters' antics. They've lost 16,000 games. Anyway, hope Chuck Schumer's having a good day.

Lindsey Graham famously said that when he died, God wasn't going to ask him why he voted against impeaching Trump. I'm guessing he knew God was gonna want to talk about the male escorts first.

Very funny that Republicans decided to go with "Gas prices going up has nothing to do with Republicans being in office" as their lie. Even in a fantasy world where that was true, they're saying, "Despite our best efforts, we are completely incapable of ever fixing this, please vote for us anyway."

How much you want to bet this "Super Intelligence" crap is because he's too stupid to spell "Artificial" without help?

Trump tells the UN he's changing Artifical Intelligence to Super Intelligence and going to make the new acronym SI. Si is Spanish for yes, so expect every SI research grant to abruptly get canceled when it's mistaken for DEI and purged by a 20-year-old who Groked "woke" and hit delete.

Deeply funny that we're seeing Byron Donalds and other sycophants drop Trump for being campaign cancer, and the White House is like, "Clearly the problem is that the president isn't on TV enough."

"Hegseth, you idiot! I said I wanted you to start monitoring ELECTIONS!"

Trump stood in a half-empty room and told his cult that it was full to the brim with thousands more trying to get inside. They watched him lie to them about something they could *see* was not true *while he was saying it.* And then he told them he'd give them $5,000 and they still believed him.

25 years ago, I watched the attacks. I saw news of war and hatred, and I was terrified that the world, as we knew it, was changing. Today, I remember the attacks. I see news of war and hatred. And I'm terrified that the world, as we have known it, will not change.

For all the Republicans out there: Your life should matter to you. You should not keep saying, "Please stop doing things that are killing me, but no worries if not!" to politicians. Your complicity gives these people endless license to take everything and give you nothing. Don't give it to them.

Republican voters fundamentally don't understand what their votes do. Your vote is an incentive. When you say you will continue voting for people who destroy your life and business, you are saying "there are zero consequences to harming me" and removing the only incentive for them to stop doing it.

Once more for the James Talaricos in the back: Ceding ground to the right on trans issues is stupid. The people who won't vote for you aren't going to be persuaded by that. It's a mirage. Now your base turnout is going to be depressed by the betrayal. In a non-voting state like Texas, that's lethal.

Maria Bartiromo: Hello, I am a fake journalist best known for seeming drunk on air, spreading lies that cost my previous employer $787 billion, continuing to spread the same lies afterwards, and leaking confidential info to the White House. Bari Weiss: OMG You had me at "fake journalist." <3

@atrupar.com Guess we know what's on Markwayne Mullin's Word-A-Day calendar today.

Thanks for including me in your starter pack, @coolsprings.bsky.social ! I'll do my best to be worthy of the honor.

At a sporting event and they've got one of those robot dogs running around doing tricks for the crowd. And all I can think is that in America they're using those to hunt down human beings. I hate what our world is.

Watching that one episode of Superstore where ICE got called on the store bc corporate is union-busting, and then they're like, "Corporate isn't allowed to do that!" and then ICE just... lets go of the guy they arrested? I'm like, "Pff. That really dates this show." It came out in 2019, y'all..

The Grim Reaper's supervisor better chew him out good. He took the wrong 80 year old.

All these weird Natalie Harp stories have me convinced: Trump definitely cracked a One-Wish Willow but forgot to use Ivanka's name.

When weeds show up in Hakeem Jeffries' garden, I bet he doesn't try to reform them into flowers.

Introduce yourself as what almost killed you. Hi, I'm a running chainsaw that cut several long gashes through my pant leg but miraculously didn't break my skin.

I tried to ask Riley Gaines how she did at the swim meet, but she took the fifth.

It's weird how prayer and reflection always winds up telling Republican politicians to retire, and never tells them "Do your job" or "Use your vote to do good things for people."

Trans kid wants to play a sport? GOP congress needs to weigh in. Woman and her doctor agree she should have an abortion? GOP congress needs to weigh in. GOP congressman breaks a child's collarbone and abuses his wife? GOP congress thinks that's a family matter, won't offer an opinion.

Trump claims Pirro "folded like an umbrella." How the heck would he know?

Serious question, seeking serious answers. I see a lot of warnings about allowing China to get more control, but like... in what specific ways is China worse than what we currently see from America, Russia, Israel? I'm genuinely curious and I want opinions from people smarter than me.

Crazy that the sitting president announced that he intends to violate the constitution and run for an illegal third term, but he did such a lousy stand-up act that the headlines are just talking about how bad and stale his material was.

Lindsey Graham will not be remembered for accomplishing anything; he won't live on through lives he improved or places he made better. His legacy is his servile cowardice. He could have been a hero like McCain, and instead chose to betray every value for a man who will have forgotten him tomorrow.

The first rule of Cassandra Club is that you tell everyone about Cassandra Club but no one believes you.

Had a great conversation with Scott Jennings yesterday. It lasted about twenty minutes. I bet him $50 that he couldn't possibly make America respect him less. He said "Watch this!" and hung up.

McConnell's loved ones are somewhere sobbing, "It's how he always hoped he'd go - corruptly delaying Senate procedures one last time."

bsky.app/profile/anun... I said this eight months ago. I've skeeted at Platner to drop out before this, and I've argued against his defenders. He should drop out. Now. But so should Susan Collins, for enabling men she knows to be guilty of much worse. She'd put Platner on SCOTUS if he were GOP.

Thinking about this again today for no particular reason.

America is a bus, and the driver is mowing down pedestrians while accelerating towards a cliff, and Americans are like, "Okay, but there's a sign saying not to disturb the bus driver. I might get in trouble if I do anything, so I'd better just keep sitting here."

Republicans: "Look, the former Attorney General held a closed-door session where she wasn't under oath after trying to avoid it several times, and in that session she didn't explicitly say that the guy who still signs her paychecks is a child predator. How much more proof of innocence do you need?"

Locker-room talk needs to be met with voting-booth consequences.

The only thing Donald Trump and I have in common is that we both hate his kids.

Schools and libraries are technically a form of data center. If we start calling them that, we can trick conservatives into funding them.

God: Is that a golden calf I spy? Evangelicals: No, it's just a golden rapist pedophile who blew up an elementary school. God: Oh, that's all right then. - How actual Evangelicals think that conversation would go.

A violent criminal with evil intent showed up to crash the correspondent's dinner. And apparently a gunman, too.

It really cannot be overstated how crazy it is that Oilers fans don't want to risk traveling to Anaheim to watch the playoffs. Alberta is oil country, a conservative bastion led by a Trumpian premier. Even the GOP's ideological acolytes know that crossing the border legally is dangerous.

Iran needs to start putting out their own announcements before the markets open and close. That way when he lies about peace to juice the markets, Iran is already on record debunking him.

Went to a local church and they had an effigy of my doctor nailed to the wall. What the heck?

A small minority of people never shut up about how much they wanted a fat criminal racist to be president, now he's president. A large majority of people need to never shut up about how badly they want a fat criminal racist to be removed from office and thrown in jail.

Well, Pam Bondi may have sold her soul to enable some of the worst crimes imaginable, and she became one of the most hated people in America for the rest of her life, but at least she also got nothing for it. Great job, Pam!

If Stephen Miller wants ICE to get good PR, he should have them arrest Stephen Miller.

Go get em, No Kings! Make it too big for the media to ignore!

Fun fact: as long as a dollar bill contains more than 50% of the original bill, it still counts as legal tender. So you can cut out the orange demon's signature and still use the bill.

Dear Emily Gregory, There's a rapist living in your district. Records show over two dozen assault accusations against him going back decades. Please keep your district safe by having this evil criminal put behind bars as soon as possible. Sincerely, All of us