Andy✌️

“With a return of less than $20 per screen so far, it’s extremely unlikely that the film’s production company, Bona Film Group, will make back its reported budget of $1.5 million” Even my butthole is laughing flip.it/T5dFHQ

Search: Easy tofu recipes Result: Here’s a super easy recipe with only three simple ingredients: tofu, cornstarch, and 16oz of freshly squeezed tears of the sacred bird of Suckatopia twice blessed by a mystic hermit monk living in an underwater cave unreachable by humans or fishes

Ok, for the past two days I’ve been seeing these AI drama series on tiktok that you can’t get rid of and what’s worse is that I opened one of these profiles to block it, and now it’s all over my timeline. How do I get rid of them?! 😫

The chain on my bike broke and since I’m of fag descent, i asked a male biker to help me Him: Didn’t your dad teach you how to fix your bike? Me: who? And he left. So, now I have to walk home with the groceries and the broken bike as a victim of an unpunished hate crime. I demand justice

Ruin a song by adding “In My Pants” to the title. Oops I Did It Again In My Pants

Forced to go to the office even though I didn’t have my regular morning ✨cleanse✨ and i feel bloated so it’s gonna be a hard day for everyone around me

Not me watching the new Insidious movie with Britney Spears entire videography playing on my phone so I can cover my eyes during the scary parts The credits were good

eBay users! Don't ignore today's email, even though it looks like a boring standard update to the User Privacy Notice. They want to use your data to train AI models. If you click the link over the words "the right to object", it takes you to a page with a toggle button letting you opt out.

Good morning to you all

✨✨LESBOTROAN3000✨✨

This new take on “Carrie” is soooooooo good!!! I’m forcing myself not to binge it in one sitting, I wanna savor it like all the other @mikeflanaganfilm.com shows/movies Also: DIRECTED BY KATE SIEGEL ❤️❤️❤️

So… what does it mean when you match with lots of guys you’ve texted first on hinge but they always end up ghosting/unmatching you after a couple of days of trying to get to know them?

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you can use any app as a dating app. Especially Vinted Soooo many good deals on that app!

You know that feeling of looking at your life and feeling like “wow, I accomplished so much! I’m so proud of me” but you have nobody to share that feeling with? And I mean no friends or lovers or family members… it’s just you and your accomplishments and nothing else. Ykwim?

Ok, so jsyk I’m sick tomorrow and I gotta work from home. I spent the whooooole night feeling awful. No, I didn’t go to London to see a musical. I was at home, sick, bed ridden with an unspeakable affliction. Is that clear?

😎That’s all👠 Btw, i love finding cute cheap tickets for these shows in the front rows…

She was hysterical. And I love her for that!

Also, did I mention I’m on the second row, central seat?

The foyer of the theater has an assortment of gays of any race, age and race all with purses, old gay and lebian couples kissing, non-binary baristas throwing shade, moms with queer kids doing drag race musicals in the corner, straight women allies feeling free for one night… I fucking love us 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Also, i’m on the train sitting between a younger beefed-up version of Pedro Pascal and a healthy clone or Antoni Porowsky. I’m feeling things

Oh, Jinkx!

New — I had the opportunity to see NAZA, the documentary freaking out the Israeli government because of its horrifying firsthand descriptions of the way the IDF has used AI to target and massacre Palestinian civilians. My thoughts on the film’s damning revelations, and the banality of evil:

Stakeholders: “We need to change direction. We need to target Gen Z. Make the design Gen Z, like… think Gen Z first” Me: {crying in Millennial}

Me: omg, i’m so broke. where did all my adult money go?! Also me after getting my first paycheck:

Head of Bluesky’s Trust and Safety just said threatening trans people with concentration camps is fine.

Tell me, how shitty is your Mondy Morning going? I’ll start. The delivery guys are finally bringing and building my bed. At 6.45 am. The end. Of me! Wtf is this?!

Took mysef out on a theater date and I had the best time ever! Also, if you happen to be in London go see Avenue Q, it’s the funniest show ever!

I wanna go back to simple times, when we all did this choreo and our knees could handle it youtu.be/mYP4MgxDV2U

That fence doesn’t seem very protective, someone might throw something at it or even break in and do some serious damage…

If you have a Gmail account, you need to read this. Google's AI now scans your emails and attachments, bank statements, tax files, medical letters, all of it. It turned on by default, and there's a class-action lawsuit over how. Here are 5 moves to shut it off, the switch is hidden in two places:

This is so homophobic. Wdym I see Boobs Marriage Pussy?!?

For those still mourning Holy Dolly, honor her memory by watching this little campy comedy musical she made with Burt Reynolds. It has the gayest locker room scene ever made on screen

JFC!!! What in the AI shit is this, #Apple? How dare you do that to Dolly?!

I think I wanna die too. Seems like all the good ones are on the other side…

“I need a blow, now” He obviously meant a blow torch but I was ready

There’s currently an objectively hot plumber in my kitchen right now that looks like the love child of Chad Michael Murray and Mario Lopez (circa 00’s): 1.90m, huge shoulders, small round ass, and… the pipe is piping! I watched too much 🌽 to handle this situation like a rational adult

Not her… not Dolly…

My curtains tassels are very slay boots the house down mama Also, I’m very bored during morning calls with a bunch of straight tech nerds talking nonsense so let me be

How do you reply when your straight men colleagues call you “mate” or “bruh”? ‘Cause I just feel second-hand cringe but… thanks, i guess?!

Can someone please call my office and pretend that I’m someone’s emergency contact so I can go home and have a nap because I’m very tired and I don’t wanna be an adult today? Thank you

I know that tomorrow I will have the prettiest lunchbox in the office Also, who am i that I come home from work and have dinner + lunch ready and a clean kitchen by 8.30?!

This looks so cheerfully sad

✨Meatballs & Margaritas✨

Icon. 🕊️🤍

Do we know anything about Lil Nas X? How’s he doing?

It’s a margarita+guac+sandra bullock kinda night!