Kevin Ahern

Kevin Ahern

@ahernk.bsky.social

I'm a goofball, retired Professor, wannabe humorist, wannabe poet. Wannabe me? Sorry. i'm taken.

677 followers1.5K following879 posts

Kevin's One Liner of the Day The last letter of Noel - Ironic? #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #letter #Noel #irony #ironic

Give Me a Sign Two billboards out near the boutique Project quite a bit of mystique Neither one speaks a word But that’s not absurd Cuz it’s in sign language they speak #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #sign #language #billboard #boutique

Duly Wedded by Kevin Ahern The Dating Game couple Does not disparage The idea behind Game marriage #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #wedded #DatingGame #couple #disparage #gay #marriage #game

Kevin's One Liner of the Day When his spouse died, he raised his kids, aparently #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #spouse #widow #widower #parent #apparently

Light Bulb by Kevin Ahern The wee firefly’s mom had to gauge Her response to not be upstaged With one master stroke This lady then spoke, “He’s awfully bright for his age” #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #firefly #light #bulb #bright #smart

Hard Knocks by Kevin Ahern Here’s the advice For you I’ve got Vodka’s no answer But it’s worth a shot #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #knocks #hard #advice #vodka #shot

Kevin's One Liner of the Day In my new job making chess sets, I’m on knights next week #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #job #chess #knights #nights #hours

Laugh It Off A really old baker named Munz Has passed on a trait to his sons So now these three blokes Recite many jokes They all like to make hot cross puns #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #baker #Munz #trait #jokes #hotcross #puns #buns

Close Calls by Kevin Ahern This rumor died But I’ll revive it Military barbers Shave their privates #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #closecall #rumor #military #barber #shave #privates

Kevin's One Liner of the Day A urinal cake is a piscuit #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour ##urinal #cake #biscuit #piss

Atra Boy A razor that gets faces clean Describes it as like a bad dream What he says is of note It goes, and I quote, “Nobody knows the stubble I’ve seen” #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #razor #atra #Gillette #face #stubble #shave

Stepping Up by Kevin Ahern It rang quite true To those in attendance The inventor of stairs Had many descendants #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #stepping #attendance #inventor #stairs #descendents

Kevin's One Liner of the Day I’m not sure how I wound up in the clock museum #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #wound #clock #museum

Kevin's One Liner of the Day I’m not sure how I wound up in the clock museum #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #wound #clock #museum

Funny Guy A hangman while out playing poker Made a joke quite mediocre Politely I laughed At his handicraft This guy is a practical choker #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #hangman #poker #joke #mediocre #practical

Wench Warmer by Kevin Ahern The medical advice Of which I’m sure Is to keep a uterus At womb temperature #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #medical #advice #uterus #womb #temperature

Kevin's One Liner of the Day Lactose intolerant people blame udders for their problem #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #lactose #intolerant #udders #milk

Eye Got You An optometrist in St. Tropez Advertises his biz in hi-res In the form of a sign With amazing design “Power to the Pupil,” it says #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #eye #optometrist #sttropez #power #pupil #people

Duck! by Kevin Ahern That show on Lincoln Certainly was the gaudiest Shot before a Studio audience #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #duck #Lincoln #abraham #shot #Booth #audience #Ford

Kevin's One Liner of the Day That reverberating urge to ‘buy’? - Echonomics #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #echo #buy #consumer #economics

All Downhill The Russian says he has a fright Of a sport that just doesn’t seem right It involves many dopes Spending time on the slopes Who all go trot skiing at night #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #Russian #ski #skiing #trot #Trotsky #sport #downhill

Getting a Buzz by Kevin Ahern To bees, a hive Is like a dorm They stay in winter Cuz ‘swarm #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #buss #bees #winter #swarm #warm

Kevin's One Liner of the Day Swashbuckling insects - The Three Mosquiteers #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #swashbuckling #insects #mosquito #muskateers

Taking Flight A ruler with problems named Yu Got worried with nothing to do Acting rather insane He got on a plane And then this old guy flew the coup #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #flight #ruler #plane #flew #coop #coup

Very Driven by Kevin Ahern Driving drunk No lion could But possibly A Tiger Wood #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #driven #drunk #driving #lion #tiger #wood #TigerWood

Kevin's One Liner of the Day There are no recipes for leftover chocolate #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #recipe #leftover #chocolate

Shortage An energy economist’s line In an energy crisis is prime He says, no way you’ll Be able to fuel All the people all of the time #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #shortage #energy #crisis #fuel #people #fool

Mr. Bubble by Kevin Ahern When the soda guy Came back to life ‘Twas reincarbonation Said his wife #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #MrBubble #soda #coke #pepsi #reincarnation #carbonation

Kevin's One Liner of the Day Salivary glands are very secretive #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #salivary #saliva #glands #secretion #secrete #secretive

Penned In A gossip columnist longs For dirt to sing sad songs She says what she does Is OK because She’s writing another one’s wrongs #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #gossip #column #dirt #writing #wrong

Sir Cuitous by Kevin Ahern Medieval armor To Gwen’s delight Was shipped to her Over knight #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #circuitous #medieval #armor #shipping #overnight #knight

Kevin's One Liner of the Day Typochondriacs fear mistakes #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #hypochondria #typochondria #mistake #worry

Wide Side Story Although I am making great strides I still do not like my outsides Perhaps I should look At a new diet book I’m seeking some words to the wides #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #wide #Westsidestory #diet #obese #weight #fat

Side Story by Kevin Ahern I wanted a square To build upon But cut corners and got An octagon #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #story #square #octagon #side #eight

Kevin's One Liner of the Day If I could be anyone living or dead, I’d pick someone living #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #living #dead #choice

Trees a Crowd A gardener working quite hard For Benedict Arnold got barred Cuz he said out loud In front of a crowd “There’s too many treason this yard” #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #tree #gardener #BenedictArnold #barred #treason

Dead Heads by Kevin Ahern The funeral parlor’s Coffee astounds Perhaps they’re using Burial grounds? #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #deadhead #funeral #coffee #burial #grounds

Kevin's One Liner of the Day Many who are gifted never open their presents #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #gifted #presents #open

Line Dents That auto repair shop makes sense In its claims, for all intents With letters quite bold Their story is told “Will You Please Let Us Have the Next Dents?” #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #auto #repair #shop #linedance #dents

Point Well Taken by Kevin Ahern She’s got support I must concur With her middle finger Sticking up for her #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #point #support #middlefinger #finger #stickup

Kevin's One Liner of the Day You can’t teach an old Star Fleet Commander new treks #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #StarTrek #commander #Kirk #teach #tricks #treks

On Your Own A casino that’s up in Great Falls Will not dial a doc from its walls So please use some care When visiting there Cuz the house will not make doctor calls #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #casino #GreatFalls #emergency #doctor #housecalls

As I Get Older by Kevin Ahern Hairs disappear from my head But flourish in my nose Oh how I wish I Could transplant those #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #aging #older #old #hair #head #nose #transplant

Kevin's One Liner of the Day The virus came west in Covid wagons #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #virus #west #Covid #covered #wagon

Down Tick The Londoners all have a frown Since Big Ben’s repair blocked its sound It’s hard to endure Since I’m pretty sure It once was the tock of the town #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #London #BigBen #tick #tock #talk #town

Vocal Therapy by Kevin Ahern Off to a meeting My friend has gone For compulsive talkers - On and On Anon #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #vocal #therapy #compulsive #talker #anon #AA

Kevin's One Liner of the Day Clock repairers get to work on time #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #clock #repair #work #time

Leaf Them Alone My friend said she truly believes That Adam and Eve should wear briefs The news that’s been leaking Is that they are streaking Whenever they’re absent without leaves #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #limerick #leaf #leaves #briefs #streaking #absent

Hot Ride by Kevin Ahern Starbucks was not In the wild west so Two guys created Pony Espresso #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #ride #Starbucks #wild #west #pony #express #espresso

Kevin's One Liner of the Day Many million dollar figures have the top half counterfeit #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #oneliner #milliondollar #figure #counterfeit