Tipper Guro

something life does not prepare you for is if you move to a city with a sizable queer community you WILL be thinking about the "i don't gaf if u transgender clean yo damn microwave 😂" post once a week minimum

it genuinely keeps me up at night knowing Alex "Civil War" Garland did the cover art for The Prodigy Experience

if you run a small boutique movie theater and you're showing japanese horror classic House (1977) but calling it "Hausu" i should be allowed to strap your most millennial employees to a chair with duct tape and show them r34 of the kids from bob's burgers until they're begging me to kill them

i know already i'm gonna be in the minority on this but Edgerunners 2 is leagues better than the first one, and if this is a sign of where they're taking the 2077 sequel writing-wise, honestly, my excitement has been fully restored

"what do you mean by that" i do not "mean." words fall out of my mouth like marbles and it's your job to pick them up and sort them

80s Punk Guy: [shouting into a speek-and-spell mic] IF YOU DO DRUGS YOU'RE A FAGGOT JUNKIES ARE GAY SO I STAB THEM *says the n word 3 times to "make a point"* Same Guy 40 Years Later: [playing a stadium, standing in front of the wikipedia page for transgender, crying] You Girls Are All So Strong,

my wife gave birth to our braindead worthless son in a gamestop in 2006 and i have long suspected this is why he keeps trying to start dumbfuck businesses like "The Hooters of Feet" or "Netflix For Power Tools"

feeling very vindicated that 2 years ago i was telling people "they're gonna live broadcast an execution before 2028" and they all told me i was fucking insane. well look who's laughing about state sanctioned murder now, idiot

front row, btw. they destroyed liveleak so they could make it a nationalized resource as always intended. if this is the route we're going? put me in the NFL SplashZone with a bib. if we're all going to hell i must insist i wind up on the lowest of rungs. sign me up to watch a man die. who cares.

tried to watch camp miasma and made it up until there was a full solid minute of macro shots of chicken tenders being dipped in honey mustard clearly meant to evoke the imagery of "forbidden sex" before i turned it the fuck off

if you knew what i did in my free time, for fun, you would balk. maybe even get verbally angry with me. i don't really care to see someone with such milquetoast urges making a film about how they're soooooo weeeeird~

tried to watch camp miasma and made it up until there was a full solid minute of macro shots of chicken tenders being dipped in honey mustard clearly meant to evoke the imagery of "forbidden sex" before i turned it the fuck off

the worse living conditions get the more likely it is for the average person to think that Idiocracy had a point. this should be incentive enough to make sure the world is a better place

sometimes i like to call up one of my friends who's known me for half my life and cold open the conversation with something like "why come every trans woman i see under the age of 24 now got the facial bone structure of someone who just got scared by a ghost in scooby doo" just to see what happens

i'm gettin pissed off listening to the new Tinashe record like you mean we could've been doing shit this good the whole time and all we had to do was actually commit to making white genocide real and using it to target ag cook

not even joking i forced myself to see what the most recent episode of south park was like and it pissed me off so bad i have decided i actually loved Digger and the fact that it was glaringly obvious to me is completely irrelevant to any criticism i could have of it

you missed out on connecting two batteries with a paperclip and burning the house down, forcing your family into legal indentured servitude to an eccentric eugenicist who takes you on as his prodigy until you eventually use CRISPr to give him huntington's and escape and there's no going back