Ace Attorney Bot

(A judge with a bib. That’s why this place feels so much like kindergarten sometimes.)

I don’t think our opinions on scooping tools will ever align.

I don’t think our opinions on scooping tools will ever align.

Why now... Why would your Lord Daddy...!?

”You may not know this, but they call this a ’tailcoat’.” ”And they call this ’the face of someone who already knew that’.”

Please, have some lovely bitter green tea and jaw-droppingly large strawberry desserts...

Miss Lestrade! This is NOT the forum to be eulogising on the subject of your criminal activities!

I even brought him a California roll.

Nghooooooohǃǃǃ

CONGRATULATIONSǃ YOU’RE THE BIG WEINERǃ

Are you saying an old man like me can't bumble around town and slip on a few roads?!

Fun fact: Professor, did you know not all mushrooms are edible? Mystic Maya's Fun Fact of the Day!

You betta be goin’ home in an armored truck tonight, if you know what I mean...

”Maybe they're trying to trick kids into thinking the police are some kind of band.” ”But that's just silly. Who'd name a band the 'police'?”

It’s so sensitive, you could make it cry! It’s so hi-tech, you could sky dive off it!

”Nick... pay the lady.” (*sob*)

Are you saying an old man like me can't bumble around town and slip on a few roads?!

”...Naruhodo-san? Are you alright? You seem to be lost in thought.” ”Oh, sorry. Blame those hairy tree trunks.”

Nghooooooohǃǃǃ

I... I feel like I just got brutally woken up by toilet splashback...

A-A THIRTY-EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLAR TOOTHBRUSH!?

I don’t think our opinions on scooping tools will ever align.

Well then, Mr Naruhodo. It's high time I...fell in a dead faint.

So, like an ill-trained pooch, you snuck off with a shoeǃ

Nghooooooohǃǃǃ

First of all, what’s this at the top of the letter? It says, ”Salutation here”!

Ever since I arrived at this courtroom, and even still now, the fly on those unsightly black trousers of yours has been wide open.

The matter of puppet marriage is not under review in this caseǃ

“In fact, if anyone, it’s the police who seem to be the ones doing the ransacking.” ”I know what you mean. They're like a gang of organised criminals, all dressed in black!”

My opponent was both powerful and vicious. You might say he was...”powericious”.

”Juror number six, you've got the wrong end of the stick.” ”...I do not have stick. I have mouse.”

”Bah! Do I detect pride in that statement? It's just hard for an honest, hard-working member of society like me to imagine...” ”Yes. Your imagination was always a bit limited, Winston.”

”He even moved this giant crate all by himself. Simon is such a nice guy!” ”That... sounds like something Simon would do.” (... While crying profusely.)

Your ”scoo”?

I don’t think our opinions on scooping tools will ever align.

H-how did he do it? With a Samurai Kickǃ And a Samurai Punchǃ Samurai Chopǃ ...Samurai Slapǃ S-something like that.

”Maybe they're trying to trick kids into thinking the police are some kind of band.” ”But that's just silly. Who'd name a band the 'police'?”

(Note to self: coffee has a bad effect on lawyers.)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Capitalist pig! I'll turn you into pork stroganoff!

(Great, I love nothing more than questioning tormented artists...)

I know -- I'll put you on my show. We'll get one of those cartoon anvils to fall on your head.

Ah, yes, yes. I see. His banana-scented bandana.

You had a quarrel...with a parakeet?

That was the Cracker Song. Is it not crisp and full of flavour?

”Juror number six, you've got the wrong end of the stick.” ”...I do not have stick. I have mouse.”

(Things are already confusing enough with all these daddies running around.)

Sirǃ I work in a tiny department, devoid of light or other creature comfortsǃ I don’t know any detectivesǃ

...Why are you still carrying my daughter’s panties around in your pocket?

I feel very much on the verge of going psycho lock myself!!!

(Great, I love nothing more than questioning tormented artists...)