Artimus T. Branesample

There are myriad reasons that I no longer produce YouTube videos. One of them is that I just pitched a channel idea that we call, "Just Look At The Flowers", where we cover nothing but Xtian mothers who delete their kin for Jeebz.

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I had a proper hacking cough earlier and I'd swear that I tasted flu vaccine.

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Fun fact about ME, I'm personal friends with TWO 'Ms Indiana Basketball' inductees who never met each other.

Do you know why macadamia nuts are so wonderful? It's because JESUS is Macadamian. FACTS.....

I don't want to be all wishy-washy about it but, I don't yearn for his death. I'd just like to watch.

So COMFY!

I was in my 50's before I realized that my empathy didn't come from either of my parents. It came from feeling HORRIBLE when I hurt someone. It came from having a sibling and friends whom I've hurt and who hurt me back. It's probably the biggest part of "me" that is TOTALLY my own fault. ::cough::

I can't wrap my head around how this band gets less action than pay phones. youtu.be/F4f39ONSSKc?...

If you know, you know. "Everybody seems to need an excuse, Daphne."

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Have you ever seen 9 random things do 8 things together like they knew each other? Ever NEEDED 7 when there was only 6? Ever seen "5 things available" but the limit is 4? Or THREE? DO YOU REMEMBER that time that you saw 2x but there was only 1x and your respawn number was [none]x? Fuk IT, not YOU.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! @abranesample.bsky.social You're one whole year closer to finding out how easy it is to remember someone's birthday that is exactly seven days before yours. Follow your elders, and you'll be grand, my young padawannabe.

If being stupid really IS easy, why are they all try-hards and know-it-alls?

I was SO EMBARRASSED when I was at a thing and I had friends from myriad friend groups standing around telling stories. Then, one of my gay friends INSISTED, b/c I'm their token str8, that I judge the "Most Delicious Dick" contest. I won't ruin it but, it was NUTTY!

This is one of those songs that COULD BE about overcoming addiction through prayer. This is one of those songs that COULD BE describing what it's like to be addicted & servicing your addiction. But, they did perform in a huge field of poppies... Every day IS sunshine. youtube.com/watch?v=QV5N...

@lullyc8c4.cryptoanarchy.network Have you ever been to Arizona with a bloody nose?

How in the name of ANYTHING is this not seditious? The Supreme Court Justices that decided against his interests are WhaT?!? youtube.com/shorts/h-M8M...

THIS JUST HAPPENED!!: I saw this one thing while I was driving, right. I don't know how to describe it It was dark so, MOSTLY what I noticed was this THING- you feel me? I'm on the road. Drivin'. And it's dark, right. Out of NOWHERE, THIS fkn thing shows up... Anyway, what's your dog's name?

TEENY TINY little aliens must have landed outside my front door and left these "porch circles" as clear and irrefutable evidence of their visit to my stoop.

At least the screwing they got from YouTube didn't come with a chance of afflicting the rest of us. The OTHER innocent victims of public photography. (sarc) youtube.com/post/UgkxDVE...

If I could get an erection, I'd be so embarrassed right now! Go Hoosiers.

The best part of outliving your life expectancy is the autopsy!

Mom came home from the physical rehab center today! (Great New Year's gift from the nephilim!) After Monday- when my big brother goes home- she's on her own w/that vicious dog that took her down 2 weeks ago!! Anyway, Mom has recovered like a champ & can return to living alone at 83 'cause she can.

What happens when "Drill Baby Drill" rhetoric meets the reality of sucking off the Saudi teet to lower US gas prices: Source: U.S. Energy Information Administration (EIA) (.gov) share.google/fonVyTeBgFYj...

@thatsgoodsports.bsky.social I didn't know if this was already something you'd see. #tryhard youtu.be/ijW_SiVcuS4?...

Of the three of us, "One of us can't handle their high." youtube.com/watch?v=uNgI...

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Have you ever used a needle to pop a style inside your eyelid? With less than 3 beers in ya?

For fellas, middle school was the age during which we wore NOTHING that couldn't help hide an erection. Incidental or accidental. Couldn't touch it nor hide it so, accomodations for that are largely what still drive modern men into the arts/physics/engineering, et al. youtube.com/shorts/66uTQ...

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So goddamn funny. youtube.com/shorts/VMXMP...

Weirdly...

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Nana Diana LIVES!!!!! @wildtanuki.bsky.social youtu.be/sMr4jt9aS7g?...

Can you even BELIEVE?!? "I watched my son be delivered 'the hard way' and I didn't even pass out! 💪👀🤝 Granted, his mom is also the smartest person I've ever met but, I didn't even get NAUSEOUS!" If I hadn't written this myself- to a WOMAN- I would not have believed it had actually happened. Butidid.

Not a lot of people know this but, Charlie was an environmentalist. Chuck may have been a bigoty asshole but, he was responsible for billions of cubic yds of abject hate. He took that job seriously. So much so that, in his literal dying breath, he wanted to separate mass shootings by race. Rubbish.

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Ever have that dream where you have absorbed your twin- minus a patch of hair and some teeth on your shoulder blade- and your dog won't leave it alone?