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He's already doing this. 🤣

Do not give that insane motherfucker any ideas

Much more believable. It would go into his pocket.

what's good for the goose is good for the gander ... Duck Soup! Three cheers for Freedonia! @marymcnamara.bsky.social

As if any American has that much in saving

Thanks, Onion

Ya know, bet if we all put in just 500.00 each, we could hire someone to ...

And then Nuclear war !

where satire

Amazingly, despite the satire, that wouldn’t even cover the budget deficit for just 2026.

i'm calling it now this is going to actually happen

I genuinely wouldn't be surprised if that actually happened

He’s already taken more than that with his tariffs and inflationary tactics!!!

It's already being done for a lot more than that with tariffs.

He’s already taken a lot more

directly from the complete idiots who opened trump savings accounts for their kids

Onion reporting actual news again

This sounds like a good investment to me.

yup....

And that's just at the gas pump! #HeDidThat

Sounds about right, lol.

He already has.....

Don’t give him ideas

Don't give the schmuck ideas

Only $5000 once? Pretty sure he's been doing that since day one. Repeatedly.

5,000 more that should be

Even better, he'll jail you for 50 years for being an "Antifa super soldier" if you question him at all.

Take *another* $5000 from every American, you mean? That's what the nunbskull's tariffs have already cost Americans.

He's already been working on that since he first got in office.

Add it to the fuckin' pile...

I saw something today I couldn't believe. 30+ year Truck Driver and Diesel in Illinois is 6.44 a gallon. If you think stuffs high now,you wait

DOGE and NSA has your bank account credentials. Put all your money under your mattress or in your sock drawer.

Along with all the rest of the money he steals on a daily basis

Checking my bills, I think I was already taken from....

He’s already taken more than that from us. Must mean the Democrats are going to win.

Now that, I believe

From what i hear over here in Europe, he does that all the time. Isn’t that what his war with Iran and his trade war with the world is really all about? 🤔

like he hasn't already. . .

That's less than he's taking now, so ok.

Agreed. Just from his tariffs, he took around $1700 from the average American family in 2025 and is apparently on track to take another $2500 this year.

Again, I felt this was too close

I'll give him 5000$ if he leaves office.

Fuck, he's gonna cost us more than that either way.

More?

i was under the impression he was already going to do this

to "take" $5,000? WTAF........ this is truly a fvcking psycho....

Lol