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The Onion hits a little too close to home sometimes.

Ja! Love it! Keep them coming! We need humor now more than ever!

Then release the Epstein files instead of hiding the existence

A vow we can rely on him fulfilling, improving his candidacy for the SCOTUS in a year or so.

It’s only bad if Middle Eastern dictators bestow favors on their lackeys! 😁

Finally, a Terms of Service agreement we can actually get behind. Just a few clicks and you're officially opted out of the social contract.

Independent of integrity.

I wish this was really satire.

“Ignorance IS my excuse”

I thought the Onion was supposed to be satire?

He fits right in. Lie, lie, lie!

Oh, well... that's good isn't it? Don't we want an independent justice department?

Now do satire. ... Please do satire.

Knew this post was from the Onion before I saw it was from The Onion 😂

Todd Blanche: "There has never been a president in American history more serious about stopping fraud." Right, Todd, that's why Donald has 34 charges against him, one being conspiring to defraud the government. You're such an asshole.

Correct ✅ AGToad Blanche + J6 Criminals = Collusion of the highest order

I thought this was supposed to be satire.

just as i was beginning to think reality itself was too satirical to write a satire, as usual Onion peels some layers to reveal its creative genius

Laughable

Too soon....

So far, so good.