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Too close to reality 😑

It's just a joke. It's only satire. But if Hegseth really said this, everyone would think: "Yeah, that tracks." I miss the days when The Onion was clearly humor and not an accurate representation of the reality of the world today couched in humorous terms.

“Why were these young girls in school instead of working at the island??”

Yep. Too soon but yep.

Hey I thought you were supposed to be satire

Love the Onion!

Though this was an actual news post at first... Had to do a double take on the poster...

I thought the Onion was supposed to be parody.

This would not surprise me in the least bit. It’s where we are heading as a country anyway.

😬

This is fantastic!

Bleak. Satire mining the truth.

Sarcasm meets cold hard reality.

Ok that was very good. 🤣

Guessing there's no tariff on his hair gel. Or as April Hollars put it: Pete Hegseth is like a G.I. Joe Speak-N-Say with hair gel.

Man, you've gotta go back to parody. This is just straight news.

🏆🏆🏆

Well, he seems to be fine blowing up ancient sites like the Taliban, so ....

He heard they had hummus

They were on a zoom call with “The Griefing Grifter” Erika Kirk.

Their chains were too long...

Yeah, shouldn't they be at the mar-a-lardo spa awaiting assignments from ghislaine???

I think everyone outside the stupid cult realizes it.

It' s all about dense men. Waste of space #GermaineGreer #DavidBenatar

What does it matter. The fact that the military wasn’t using current intel is the problem!!

What do you do with a drunken Hegseth? What do you do with a drunken Hegseth? What do you do with a drunken Hegseth? Early in the morning. (Or any other time.)

I think the Onion has lost their ability to do satire…

I've just taken to using the Onion as my primary news source. Because every time they stretch to find something even more absurd to say, the US government rushes to close the gap.

Tell him we wete doing the heavy lifting while boys like him were spending their days inebriated or high. Did his mother go to school? Why?

A former reality show host is running our country. Into the ground...

Minnesota does not accept him as ours.

The American Taliban.

Phenomenal

Tell me he can’t be that stupid

What an ignorant putz! Why is he in that position?

But wait, didn’t he?

Satire is dead but sarcasm ? We had the late lamented "Baghdad Bob" The US has now blessed us with the Pugnacious "Pentagon Pete" A more than worthy successor to ease our loss May he live long and prosper

Give it a little time, this won't be just an Onion headline anymore. (Because women are scaaaaarrryy or whatever)

Learning to colour inside the lines. Clearly a threat.

STUPIDEST QUESTION OF THE DAY!

that Tim Onion, he’s still got it. What a guy!

At least let us have History of art on our CV, come on. Or French language.... #GermaineGreer ❤️‍🔥

I think he also just questions what is a school.

This is so fucked but spot on

The American Taliban

Can the Onion go back to doing satire? This reporting on actual news is getting old.

I’m sure there is a segment of our country that is enjoying this the more ridiculous callous, and cruel these people are the more this segment of America is enjoying this, but this speaks to their inhumanity. I’m sure they are getting off on it and that’s why no one is doing anything.

Probably trying not to grow up as uneducated and coarse as Hegseth.

bsky.app/profile/bkei...

Weeks ???