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There's a gigantic house centipede somewhere in my room and I'm going through my rolodex of recent sins trying to figure out which one is the cause of this level of karmic retribution

In before centipede-splaining. Yes, I know whatever you're about to type. I simply do not want anything crawling up my leg. That's all. I'm very anti-small-guy-crawling-up-my-leg

Are u fucking kidding me rn (not staged, just happened to be looking at bsky and had an out of body experience when he rocked up)

*sobbing* p-please i just need to get through this deadline, don’t drop on me

Oh! I thought this was a different type of centipede. Aren't the house ones fairly harmless? (No judgement if the damage would be purely psychic)

they're generally pretty harmless to humans and prey on other bugs, but they're also faster than god and have one million feathery little legs to touch you with

Honestly if I could keep a house centipede as a pet I would. I think they're actually really cute.

did you live??? 😨

Unfortunately I died :/ idk where he went and the stress of the unknown got my ass

god speed... he's a pretty big boy.