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It's nearly 5pm, and I've been in Emergency since 11am. Don't worry your gorgeous heads, though. No one's treating me like I'm dying (yet haha) and my eyes are working in concert again instead of googling around in my head willy nilly. I will rise! (Or walk unaided again, either/or.)

We got to the ER at 11am, and we're finally out of there at 8:45pm. I'm alive! And it turns out that I don't have stress damage on my heart, I don't show intestinal inflammation, and I've been loaded up with a litre of saline and excellent stomach acid defeaters. I'm a healthy recovering mystery.

Hang in there, you awesome human.