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Was talking to @nik.digital earlier and he mentioned he never knew I wrote blog posts outside of the CS stuff. He’d found samwho.dev/blog/having-... and found it funny that I threw my back out waiting for my wife to give birth. 🫠

I like to share this one whenever I can because it’s the most personal piece of writing I’ve ever published. It documents what could have been the worst day of my life, but ended up being one of the best thanks to the NHS. Also to maybe connect with other dads who experienced trauma in childbirth.

Thank you for sharing this! My spouse and I went through a similar experience (less severe than yours, I must admit) during delivery.

I suspect it’s just as hard. You still go through the same thoughts and have no idea what to do. Hope you were able to talk to people about it and if not, hit me up.

Day wife gave birth was probably one of the loneliest days of my life. Covid protocols meant I had to leave after 2 hrs, weren't allowed to have the baby on the island I live, so had to rent a place in a grotty town on the 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 west coast, hrs away from friends and family. Spent most of the day alone

Went through similar during Covid. Wife haemorrhaged at home, blue lights to hospital, wasn’t allowed to go with her, she spent the whole journey convinced baby was dead. Was later allowed to be there for the birth, then told to go 2 hours after. Went home go clean the blood off everything. 🫂

Thanks so much for sharing. Being alone and worried in an unfamiliar place, shudder thinking about it.

For me, it was after my 2nd was diagnosed "failure to thrive". Lots of great emotional support and patience for mama, as it should be. I was also terrified he would die but talking about it once got me "you've got to get over yourself" so I didn't for a long time. Glad you had support!

It’s rough out there. The chasm between the “it’s okay to not be okay” discourse (which is great, please continue!) and the real life reactions you get when you admit you need help is large. 🫂

Especially in times of stress, we just can't think as clearly. I understand they were working though their own emotional connex and were just wanting there to be only one problem at a time, maybe. It's hard for everyone in this societal transition.