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still get emails from linkedin reminding me to reactivate my account after I deactivated because of exactly 👏 this 👏 kinda 👏 shit 👏

Also, don’t black out their names. They posted this publicly and should be shamed accordingly.

If Odysseus murdered everyone who was drinking his wine and hitting on his wife, imagine what he would do to you for talking about him on LinkedIn

Linkedin really is like a special hazard containment zone

Youth pastor vibes

All these people just prompted an AI lol

"Ensure your worst performers are easiest to pick off by a eight-headed cave-dwelling sea monster."

40-hour work week=tired 7-year “work wife”=WIRED

7 business lessons I learned from killing the guys trying to fuck my wife

everybody dead? no problem, contact underworld employees with sheep blood

That's an ominous opening

Worst guy from your college voice; in many ways I’ve become the Lu Bu of marketing integration and to do so I’ve found my own Diao Chan, not my wife, but my AI assistant

It's okay — it'll all work out. don't worry. be happy.

- Steal the Palladium - Or maybe don't - It depends on which god you're willing to piss off - I'm not your dad, I'm just a random hermit handing out prophecies to wandering Greeks. Do whatever you want. - You know what, you're screwed anyway. Take it and be legends. - Don't take the southern route

Are *any* of these fuckers real?!

No Oh God no Make it stop Sweet Jesus, Krishna, Zeus, whomever- just make it stop

Eternal Return ↩️

They never watch porn, do they?

It should have been Greg Kinnear not Matt Damon! Kinnear speaks better colloquial Greek than Demosthenes

All of these are 100% chatgpt.

Don’t fucking eat the property of a God. Number one lesson. Other lesson: always make sure there are no beggars at your party.

As a business man, what I learned from the Odyssey is that 1) you're either born great (me) or you're a loser (poor) and 2) like Zeus, infidelity makes you a superior leader

They seem like they’d be the life of the party. “Let me tell you how workplace challenges are similar to Kevin double dipping the guacamole.”

Bad bad bad bad idea to introduce the moral principle of the Odyssey into work culture. "You know, we may just have to sacrifice your youngest daughter to turn these sales numbers around".

Nobody tricks the Cyclops…

odysseus still manages to see his son more often than these clowns

Oh man I gotta hop on and parody the shit out of this

Do any of them say 'Make sure you sacrifice (pay your taxes) properly to prevent wasting 20 years?'

"When it absolutely, positively, needs to be there in 20 years..."

bad

I doubt there are a hundred lessons of any kind in the movie. That's just way too many lessons.

FFS

What I learned: Business trips can.. 1) run longer than you expect so plan accordingly 2) be exceedingly hazardous so update your will 3) create real disasters from which your boss emerges unscathed while you get screwed so fuck that guy.

There is 'Emo Dark'. There is 'Hammer Films Dark.' There even is 'OG Slasher Film Dark.' This is 'Human Centipede Dark'

other than the obvious "not everything is supposed to be linkedin fodder" point, I do wonder if these people actually might be able to live up to the managerial success of the guy who sailed to Ithaca from Anatolia, took ten years to get there, and got his entire workforce killed on the way.

"Maybe the real Odyssey was the monsters that killed our colleagues along the way."

so i wrote off linkedin when they tricked people into sharing their contact lists and then spammed all their contacts pretending to send emails from them, the place has always been toxic

LinkedIn is kayfabe for capitalism.

I wonder how many of these "CEOs" are actually humans and not AI slop posters.

The linkedIn bros are nearly as slimy as the Tate bros.

This makes eating the lotus flowers seem like a rational, conscious choice

Retiree tip: Never listen to anything said by anyone calling themselves a "thought leader." Corporate America is a scam, full of people who are faking it. Do not take it seriously. Do not waste your life energy on it.

AI/LLMs literally use corporate doublespeak as a training language. It's blazingly obvious. The CEOs all sound the same whether someone used AI to make their speech or they crafted it themselves. {All dumpster fires: Gemini, Claude or C-Suite}

I mean, the bulk of the deaths/issues came from them NOT listening to the guy who was in charge of their safety. I think that's consistent across the board.

"Lesson #3: Never serve the sun god's roastbeef at a catering"

I can't believe someone made $ of the LinkedIn idea.

"You don't have to be faster than the animal chasing you. You just have to be faster than your friends."