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It is our privilege to report the findings of Esteemed Naturalist Sir Bartholomew Hogworth, F.R.S. upon his recent trip to your Session Replays. While reporting back to the conservatory weary, his discoveries of new users will prove revolutionary, aiding to classify species hitherto undocumented.

The Modal Slammer (Closeus immediatus) The defining feature is reaction time. The Modal Slammer dismisses any modal in under 400 milliseconds, often before it has finished animating in.

The Tab-Hopper (Multitabus distractus) Integument difficult to identify. The Tab-Hopper is rarely viewed in full, only in glimpses, between other tabs.

The Phantom Returner (Quartum revertus) Wing scales dulled and dusty from a long absence, expression carefully neutral. The Phantom Returner moves through your product like someone visiting a house they used to live in, recognizing the rooms but unsure where the furniture has been moved.

The Rage-Clicker (Furiosus checkoutus) Distinguished by rapid, repetitive tapping of the beak on a single point. Plumage darkens visibly toward the tail end of the encounter. Often accompanied by an audible exhale, inaudible to the scanner but inferable from typing cadence.

The Dead-End Wanderer (Quattuor-zero-quattuor vagus) Slightly disoriented. Coat unremarkable, posture defeated. Often arrives at your 404 page via a Google result for a feature you deprecated two years ago.

The Refreshing Pilgrim (Reloadus hopefulus) Easily mistaken for any other user, until the right foot begins its small devotional motion toward the F5 key. The eyes carry an expression somewhere between patience and betrayal.

The Pricing-Page Loiterer (Pricingus revisitus) A low, settled posture, belly to the ground. Often spotted from behind, head slightly tilted, scrolling slowly between plan tiers. Eyes fixed, looking for numbers. May have a calculator tab open in the periphery.

The Console-Opener (Devtoolus curiosus) Indistinguishable from a normal user at first glance, until the moment the keyboard shortcut is pressed. From that point on the skin mottles and darkens, and the eyes acquire focus.