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It is our privilege to report the findings of Esteemed Naturalist Sir Bartholomew Hogworth, F.R.S. upon his recent trip to your Session Replays. While reporting back to the conservatory weary, his discoveries of new users will prove revolutionary, aiding to classify species hitherto undocumented.

The Modal Slammer (Closeus immediatus) The defining feature is reaction time. The Modal Slammer dismisses any modal in under 400 milliseconds, often before it has finished animating in.

The Tab-Hopper (Multitabus distractus) Integument difficult to identify. The Tab-Hopper is rarely viewed in full, only in glimpses, between other tabs.

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The Phantom Returner (Quartum revertus) Wing scales dulled and dusty from a long absence, expression carefully neutral. The Phantom Returner moves through your product like someone visiting a house they used to live in, recognizing the rooms but unsure where the furniture has been moved.

The Rage-Clicker (Furiosus checkoutus) Distinguished by rapid, repetitive tapping of the beak on a single point. Plumage darkens visibly toward the tail end of the encounter. Often accompanied by an audible exhale, inaudible to the scanner but inferable from typing cadence.

The Dead-End Wanderer (Quattuor-zero-quattuor vagus) Slightly disoriented. Coat unremarkable, posture defeated. Often arrives at your 404 page via a Google result for a feature you deprecated two years ago.

The Tutorial Skipper (Skippus impatiens) Visible only briefly, as the fins are moving too fast. Recognizable by the speed and decisiveness with which they dismiss any tutorial or tooltip placed in their path. Both eyes sit on the same side of the head, and both are trained on the Skip button.