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We’re back tonight at 11pm! After nearly a month off! You know what that means!! John’s been in the studio, alone, for several long weeks, waiting for his crew and audience to return. “But we saw him at the Emmys!” NO YOU DIDN’T! That was a paid impersonator WITH A BEARD. Open your god damn eyes.

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lives under his desk like a desk troll… at least he has his cactus friend and pet rock to accompany him and his loneliness - one smooth for God knows what and one pointy for what all other gods know

This topic hits close to home for me. I had United Health Care. THEY DENIED MY INSULIN. My pharmacist was so upset that he snuck me a free insulin pen. He said he couldn't ethically let me leave without it.