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Like that was the coolest part of the vibe of Halo 1. Yeah nobody has ever seen a colossal ringworld before, it has far-reaching implications for all sorts of things. We don't know anyone who cares about that shit though, we're in the middle of a war, we're just landing on it. Literally do not care

Literally it is a fucking joke bsky.app/profile/brke...

Also, look, I'm an Unreal guy, metahumans are sick, you can do a cool stylised metahuman, okay? Okay? Have that in mind when I tell you that Captain Keyes is the most dogshit Stock Metahuman you ever saw. The others all look better. Boring guy, boring voice, for some reason a lot of extra screentime

And he doesn't even smoke a fuckin pipe anymore. I don't know how you trick yourself into thinking your interpretation of "spaceship captain who smokes a pipe" is legitimate when you get rid of the pipe

The thing is they have done a good enough job that if it wasn't a remake I would just be like "oh cool, new Halo game". Just make a new one?!?! I suppose given it's on Unreal now maybe the pitch for this was "just remake 1 as a way to get all set up to make something new", optimistically

But they fire everyone every two years or whatever so

A thing they have fucked up that I would have thought anyone would know better is ammo economy...you can just use whatever gun you want forever. Instead of starting Truth & Rec with the sniper and ditching it for lack of ammo before you get to the ship, you never run out... I had like 50 ammo

WOW they changed the level design of the opening of silent cartographer...that's a lotta balls. It sucks

They fuckin...unblocked the way so you can just drive the warthog effortlessly up to the security booth...like literally warthog the two hunters in the clearing AND the ones inside the security station AND the invisi-elites... you only get off the hog to use the control panel. God that's so dumb

AND YET they made the main facility door narrower so you can't get the hog in there

Well this is a good change

What the fuck is this by the way

there's this one Interesting Room in halo which for whatever reason has sparkly walls and cool reflections and shit. i was interested to see how they interpreted that. they just didn't lmao. they didn't even stop it from snowing in there

also the ice doesn't crack as you roll your tank over it

also this sick turret design where the seat hovers and rotates is gone. they never used it in any halo after 1, preferring shitter designs which were worse, and here the shit ones are retconned in

I should say by the way, it does play well and look good, it feels like halo, it's just every actual Choice they have made is bad... when they stick to the brief it's pretty decent. if you're interested, support your local pirate release group

Also to be fair I guess... a lot of the aesthetic choices I think are really bad are just in keeping with 343's other Halo games... the forerunner shit all being made out of stainless steel and covered in blue lights for instance. Just completely off-base but so were the last 3 of these games

the weirdness of some of the choices is genuinely off the hook...this is what happens when you break any glass. it's some sort of zero-gravity magic glass. no reason for it. in the original this was just glass that broke like glass

like at least if it respawned they would be doing something? this is just like...yeah someone invented this crazy advanced cyberglass... it's not more resilient or anything it just breaks crazy

jesus...the part in assault on the control room where, in 1, you CAN reach a banshee before the guy who's scripted to get into it and steal it and skip part of the level but it's quite hard... in this, there are two and cortana tells you to do it. also not a land bridge anymore? a metal bridge

I just played all the way through the chapter that intros the flood, up to where 343 teleports you to The Library... I actually had no beef with it, I think they did a good job with that chapter. But then he teleports you to some snowy mountainscape for an info dump before the library?!?!?! my god

Like the whole thing is about following this little dweeb around trying to figure out what he's talking about because he assumes you already know because he's mistaken you for someone else? And they just have him lay it all out in a never-before-existed scene

of course he's had all his lines rerecorded too, seemingly with the directive to make his emphasis as weird as possible

The last good Halo game is now old enough to drink in most countries btw.

Yeah it's 25 😎

I really liked ODST 🥲