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Truly hope he crashes his car

30 rock type shit

In actual tears right now my god

fortunately, he does wear the same industrial strength diapers as the Felon so, when he does get scared, on the way to the minimart, and has that "explosive" problem, at least it doesn't stain his clothes as much ...

(and to clarify: the latter warps into inhumane levels of hatred and toxicity and unfortunately doesn't always land as hilariously pitiful)

It all boils down to the fact that these men will say anything to keep people from realizing the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.

That's not his only reason to not wear a seatbelt. His other reasons include... -easier to reach for food in Taco Bell drive through. -making changing pants easier while in traffic. -only people who don't trust God to protect them use seatbelts -seatbelts secretly a vaccine against death.

Republican senator says he steps out of his car at traffic lights whenever a pedestrian looks his way for fear of carjacking.

Imagining an impatient carjacker saying "too slow!" and driving his car away sitting on his lap.

What a pussy

Surely out of a population of 4 million there would be SOMEONE better to send to the Senate than Markwayne, right?

Mullin also added that he keeps his feet under the covers at night to prevent the monster under his bed from getting him

this is so close to The Onion

Fear and hate is all these people know.

meanwhile, my brown partner got ticketed for $170 on a first offence for not wearing his seatbelt in our neighborhood because our local gov squandered their entire police budget on upgrading the wifi in one building

Isn't this the guy who claims he was an MMA fighter?

Isn’t that against the law? 🤔