Post

Jess Morrissette

Someone at my office has started bringing a monkey with them to work every day, and it's shitting everywhere. The university is powerless to act because we don't have a "no monkeys" policy on the books.

18/11/24, 8:46 pm11 reposts192 likes

Ankle Megami Tensei

@stochasticooze.bsky.social

Do they not have a general purpose "no animals unless they're service animals" rule?

Jess Morrissette

We do, but I suspect this is just a situation where no one wants to have an awkward conversation with someone else, so it's just going to keep happening.

Ankle Megami Tensei

@stochasticooze.bsky.social

I feel like stepping in monkey shit is a lot more awkward but what do I know

Air Bud rules

@essaywells.bsky.social

I think if you ask what the admin would do if the monkey's *owner* was shitting everywhere, that might reveal a course of action!

@wincenworks.bsky.social

You would think they would have such clauses as standard after Lord Byron brought his bear... do they have a no bears policy?

@dijkstracula.bsky.social

critical question: does the monkey have tenure

Jess Morrissette

No, but it's only a matter of time.

@dijkstracula.bsky.social

*five years later* "hey, why does that new associate dean look familiar...?"

@evaogbe.bsky.social

There's nothing in the rules that says a dog can't play basketball

Souha Al-Samkari

@sousourocket.bsky.social

don't these types usually put their monkey in a diaper... also I genuinely assumed this was an adventure game joke of some kind how is this real LMAO

Jess Morrissette

Apparently, there have been some, uh, containment breaches.

Souha Al-Samkari

@sousourocket.bsky.social

CHRIST 🤢 Godspeed man fsggsgsdg

Jess Morrissette

I wish this was a joke.

@shawnweaver.bsky.social

One would think the county health department might have a say.