Post

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

We're going to have to film our response PSA in a bathroom aren't we.

NE Ohio Regional Sewer District@neorsd.org

don’t become a @cpsc.gov statistic this long holiday weekend.

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

This is going to be really difficult as we are not a real person.

3/7/25, 1:31 am4 reposts285 likes

@cdpositive.bsky.social

Keep up or step aside.... safely, of course. (yes, I know... leaving now)

damda1.bsky.social

@damda1.bsky.social

18

damda1.bsky.social

@damda1.bsky.social

6

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

Oh, yeah. Sorry, to our new followers, when we launched on Bluesky we were very explicit about being a government agency and not doing the thing where we tried to establish hollow parasocial relationships with our followers like we were a real person.

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

Frankly, the success on that front has been pretty limited. You're just all so loveable.

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

No, see. You're falling for it. Don't fall for it!

@grumpapotamus.bsky.social

oops too late.

Jsaysyay (James)

@jsaysyay.bsky.social

unfortunately i already consider you and the iconic MERL to be very much definitely people i love to see posts from lol

wharf (she/her)

@nomanswharf.bsky.social

oh stawppp :3c

@green-squirrel.bsky.social

I formed a parasocial relationship with your alt text. I'm sorry.

Your Pal in Ypsi

@ypsidoodle.bsky.social

No big deal, that's just another Photoshop challenge for you.

I assume every single member of the CPSC takes turns writing these posts, therefore befriending all of you over time is a valid option.

Amie 📺🦛🛼

@amiewatchestv.bsky.social

I assume the entire CPSC is Handsome Ron, the Safety Eagle, and some raccoon taking turns posting.

Alexandra Samios

@xanboni.bsky.social

Too late. I'm past parasocial and comtemplating moving into stalker. Wait, did I say that out loud?

Possible Cabbage 🟢

@possiblecabbage.bsky.social

You're real to me, damnit.

@opda.bsky.social

This is why you need a puppet. Or dub over a golden retriever or something.

@dannygermaine.bsky.social

Might be a good time to remind everyone not to flush fireworks. 🤔

@sdrose.bsky.social

You’re still pretty cute

@cynthianevil.bsky.social

Are we……Geppetto? You’ll be a real person, USCPS.

@ardismeade.northsky.social

Do you not have a double eagle plushie you could use as a stand in?