Post

Script: Cousin, it's your beloved cousin [NAME]. I hope you are joyous and filled with the spirit of Thanksgiving. I know you plan to fry your turkey this year - a delicious and dangerous endeavor. Please fry your turkey away from your home on a firm, flat surface.

[Script continued] Please also remember the words of our Uncle [NAME] who once profoundly said, "There are more home fires on Thanksgiving than any other day of the year and unattended cooking is the number one cause of home fires. Stand by your pan so you don't burn the house down."

7 reposts207 likes