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Akai Riot
@akairiot.com

Yesterday was the worst I've felt (mentally) in like 3 or 4 years. It was like all ambition and inner spark had drained out of me again. Everything was a struggle. I kept thinking about how I was doomed to a life of loneliness and suffering. Today I woke up, felt totally fine, been smiling all day.

Akai Riot@akairiot.com

They increased the dosage on my nerve pain meds, and it's been a very interesting roller coaster. First day, best I've felt in like 3 years. No pain, no brain fog, no muscle spasms. Second day, REALLY BAD. Everything hurt, body and brain. Third day, good. Then bad. Then good, then bad, etc etc

Akai Riot
@akairiot.com

It's weird how, even when I know for certain with the logical part of my mind that the feelings (or lack of feelings) are just the drugs messing with my brain chemicals, I can't simply will them away. Makes it easier to ride them out, for sure, but they're still *there*.

Akai Riot
@akairiot.com

Anyway, today I feel awesome! Hardly any pain, mind is sharp, things are fun. And even when my neck gets triggered, I stretch a lil bit and it goes away just like that! My muscles actually listen to me, it's great! So, even if the lows are pretty damn low, I think it'll be worth it in the long run.

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helliongamer.bsky.social
@helliongamer.bsky.social

Out of curiosity, are tension headaches part of the bad days? I get really bad ones myself if I get dehydrated or eat something that causes inflammation, and adderall makes them worse when that happens because it makes me a bit tense, but a bunch of water and some ibuprophen helps me a lot

Akai Riot
@akairiot.com

tension headaches are sometimes a part of it, but I'm actually already on some prescription anti-inflammatories that I take daily, so no ibuprofen allowed -- I do drink tons of water, though! and I appreciate the advice!

amdetegras.bsky.social
@amdetegras.bsky.social

What a rollercoaster. Glad to hear you're feeling better right now. But that's ... anything messing with your brain, really (meds or their withdrawal symptoms, depression, ads, propaganda, ...). Being aware that the meds mess with your brain doesn't stop them from messing with your brain.