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Oh my goodness, this Wall Street Journal piece about Trump's ailing health that includes an interview with him (gift link). There are a number of ridiculous details in it and I'll put a few of them in this thread. (1/6)

Trump admits to taking more aspirin than his docs recommend: “They say aspirin is good for thinning out the blood, and I don’t want thick blood pouring through my heart. I want nice, thin blood pouring through my heart. Does that make sense?” What could possibly go wrong! (2/6)

The piece doesn't directly address what's going on with Trump's black hand, but says he has delicate skin that causes him to bleed constantly "Trump said he applies makeup to his hands after he gets 'whacked again by someone ... I have makeup that’s easy to put on, takes about 10 seconds.'" (3/6)

Trump denies what we've all seen with our own eyes -- that he regularly falls asleep during on camera events -- instead saying he's just "blinking." “Sometimes they’ll take a picture of me blinking, blinking, and they’ll catch me with the blink.” (4/6)