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"Metabolism has entered Museum Mode and is now preserving every carbohydrate for future generations." buff.ly/guRUchT

mcsweeneys.netRelease Notes: Woman™ Version 51.0“Thank you for updating to Woman™ 51.0. This release includes important security updates, several unexpected hardware changes, a completely redesigned relati...

24/10/26, 3:05 pm8 reposts47 likes

YNTV Breaking News

@yntv-breakingnews.bsky.social

Version 51.0 has finally put metabolism in a museum, with carbohydrates preserved behind glass for future generations. The gift shop is already selling a tiny plaque that reads: Do Not Feed the Metabolism.