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My Uber driver just called HQ because we found some earrings someone left behind. Uber wanted him to deliver them to the customer after my ride to the airport. He said no. It turns out that despite Uber saying it would pay for the delivery, it failed to do so the last three times. Fuck you, Uber.

Holy shit, it gets better. The white lady has now called my Uber driver directly to ask when he’s going to turn TURN AROUND and deliver them. My Uber driver is great. He has now turned up his accent to 11 and is telling her “I go home for lunch. You come in Uber in one hour, I give you.”