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So we dive really deep into Jax's backstory and how he doesn't feel comfortable being open about his feelings and his guilt about hurting his mother. When he is open he feels defensive whenever someone is being empathetic to him. He doesn't want pity but he desperately wants to be understood.
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I'm way happier now that I fully understand my pansexuality and my clear male identity. Am I a bit effeminate at times sure but I'm genuinely solidified in who I am and that wasn't where I was some 4-5 years ago. You might be in a deep dark hole today but that's not where you're going to be forever.