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I've been feeling like a huge mediocre waste of space lately and its really difficult to shake off. I know I'm not the best or most I can be, especially when compared to others...but Im trying.

Portfolio day feels rough cause I dont feel any of my work can stand next to any of my peers like this. Then I curse myself for not trying hard enough or not taking this as seriously. But really I know im too hard on myself. I hate that more often than not Im boiled down to what I can offer..

..others rather than being liked for who I am without the rest. Idk.

Somewhere along the way I forgot how to do all of this.

I also hate that Im living for tomorrow, it sounds good but really what it is is "ill finally start enjoying life when xxxx happens" or "life will be good again when xxxx is done" but really thats all there is. Everyday its work to barely survive, spend that money on groceries at the weekend

Rinse and repeat. What else is there.

I took the day off and drove around, got myself lunch, bought some lego thay was on sale. Idk idk idk