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The tech deities have blessed me. I only needed to reboot the printer to get it to actually print, even though it said it was connected and ready and my computer said the printer was connected and ready, so I didn't need to do a lot of other esoteric troubleshooting.

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It is 2026. I understand that patents expire. I also understand the nature of monopolies and hardware manufacturing logistics can make it tricky. But still, how is it that there hasn't been a Cambrian explosion of Printers But Good (tm) by now?