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there's a few lines in here about reading papers that go, approximately, 'it is not about reading the paper, it's about being exposed to the core idea and then thinking alongside the paper; ideally you try to prove it to yourself and use the paper to check your work' and it's like my favorite idea!

this is what gaming is like for me; i see a game mechanic and a part of my brain cracks open; i am curious how it was done but have negative desire to see the code, i want to reason to how it """should be""" done in my internal code ideology before i consider how it actually is done

using saas as well; in general for the applied mathematics schools i understand, a real world artifact is a paper for this model of thought and they make me tremendously happy