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i feel like such a fuckin aimless loser. i genuinely can't think of a single thing i personally accomplished this year. i need to get involved in something to engage me fully but i can't find the willpower. the year's almost over and im going to enter another year of life broke and hollow and sad

why is it so fucking hard to just do, like, ANYTHING? i just feel like im declining in every way possible and i can't do anything more than temporary fixes. how do people do this? how do i remove myself from my current ever-deepening rut, how do i get up and hold myself accountable?